BELL, BOOK, AND CANDLE

I was introduced to Diptique Candles last December by my soon-to-be-ex-officemate Ryan (don't get me started on THAT issue), and yesterday I finally got around to purchasing one.

It's a 6.5 oz. candle that will set you back $60, but it's a wisely spent $60. The scent (I purchased Lavender) is relaxing but not overpowering.

While I bought directly from their store on Maiden Lane in San Francisco, they're available at Neiman Marcus and Amazon as well.

INSERT YOUR OWN HEADLINE HERE ('cause I just couldn't come up with one myself)

A former aide to 2004 Vice Presidential candidate and douche bag John Edwards, says that a sex tape he found of Edwards and Rielle Hunter (his campaign videographer) in the trash is now in a safe-deposit box.

Andrew Young claims him and his wife came across the tape in the trash of Ms. Hunter. Andrew goes on to say that him and his wife watched the video and were so disappointed and "just fell on the floor" when they saw what it was. He also goes on to claim that they never had any plans to sell the tape because they "couldn't have lived with themselves" if they had.

So, you "couldn't have lived with" yourself if you had sold the tape yet you're okay with putting it in a safe-deposit box and then going public with your "dumpster-dive" find? Oh wait, that's right, you have a book coming out.

THAT'S HOW WE ROLLED

I'm not sure how we got on the subject, but while on a recent weekend road trip, my friend Joe and I started talking about roller skating in the 70's. He said something about how lucky he felt that he was old enough to have experienced the trend that was "Roller Disco."

I share that feeling, as well.

Cal-Skate, in Rohnert Park, is where I spent my skating time (from the 5th grade through the 8th grade), and every time the song "Grove Line" by Heatwave pops up on my ipod, I'm instantly transported back to 1978.

I close my eyes and picture myself rounding the far corner of the rink, where the wall was papered with a forest scene mural. The lights are low and the reflections of the mirrored disco ball spin around in a circle on the polyurethane floor. I'm flying along with reckless abandon at breakneck speed, my feathered hair whipping in the wind created by that speed and I haven't got a care in the world.

Yeah, it's a great memory and I'm glad I was there to experience it as well, Joe.

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

I got drunk one night and danced with Natalie Portman at Table 50 in Manhattan, August 2004.

PUNCHLINE: SAN FRANCISCO

Back in 2007, San Francisco passed a law that banned grocery stores and chain pharmacies from giving out plastic bags. Around the same time, an environmental group set out in boats to collect floating trash in the bay and 15,000 of these grocery store-type plastic bags were pulled out of the water (in one day), so I enthusiastically supported the new law.

However, if you know anything about San Francisco politics, it's that good intentions are often taken ridiculously too far.

Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi, who penned the original plastic bag ban, has now introduced a new proposal that retailers be required to give a 10-cent refund to customers who bring in their own bags. This is a BAD idea.

First, California state law prohibits cities from assessing bag fees. So even if this was to be passed by the Board of Stupidvisors, it would end up in the courts and eventually be overturned. A complete waste of time AND money. Secondly, why would you require something like this? Several retailers already give back refunds voluntarily. Besides, this city has already made it so difficult for businesses to be here and this is yet another policy that could make a company to think twice before opening up shop. Does anyone remember the American Apparel -Valencia Street debacle?

For the record, Safeway gives back 5-cents (when the checkout clerk remembers to do so). Whole Foods also offers a 5-cent refund, but then gives the option to donate that refund to one of several different local charities (a pretty good idea - those nickles add up, I'm sure). Rainbow Grocery, a co-op grocery, gives back a whopping 10-cents. Aveda gives back 10-cents as well.

DEVOLUTION

With movies costing anywhere from $10 to $15 bucks these days, the last thing I want to see or hear is some douche-bag loser sitting near me texting or using their cellphone. I'm not sure when this became acceptable (and honestly, it isn't), but the movie-experience has gotten so ridiculous that I may stop going to movie theatres -- PERIOD.

It seems every time I go to the movies, I have to either SHHHH someone or lean over and ask them to turn off their cellphone. When I think about it, it seems that this is a San Francisco-specific situation (at least in my experience). I don't remember this as a big problem in New York City or Seattle (two other cities where I've lived and regularly went to the movies).

While on vacation in Scottsdale last year, I went to a movie to kill some time created by a flight delay. As the movie trailers were starting, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cellphone to turn if off and while I was doing that, an usher came over and asked me not to use my phone. Before she could finish what she was saying, I cut her off with a terse "I'm not using it, I'm turning it off." Ironically, right after this happened, a movie commercial came on telling everyone to turn off their cellphones. At the time I thought that I didn't need babysitting but judging from my recent movie going experiences, it appears that many movie-goers do.

So sad.

P. DOUCHEY

Sean "Puffy" Combs has announced that he is giving his 16-year old son, Justin, a $360,000 Mercedes Maybach. The gift exchange is set to be filmed for the MTV show "My Super Sweet 16."

This leaves me with a few of questions:

1. aren't sweet 16 parties supposed to be for girls only?

2. is it wise to spend that much money on something as trivial as a car during a time when so many people are going without?

3. why would you give a gift like this to a 16 year old?

Personal opinion, of course, but just because you're in a position where you can do something like this doesn't mean that you should.

STUPID STUFF STUPID WHITE PEOPLE LIKE

The iPhone bubble wrap app.

(sigh) Really?

I'LL TAKE MY WINDOW DRESSING ON THE SIDE, PLEASE.

I passed by this window one night last week and thought it was a pretty good one. It would have been the perfect display were it not for the boring orange sale sign haphazardly taped to the window.

NORMAN BATES LIVES!

Having lived in New York City for 10 years, I had my share of celebrity encounters. Usually it wasn't a big deal, but sometimes it was all I could do to keep my foot out of my mouth.

One of my officemates (we'll call him Jason), recently had an encounter so deliciously amusing that I had to include a link to a very detailed retelling of his "foot in mouth" moment (be sure to scroll down to the blog entry entitled "I TERRIFIED ANNA KENDRICK AT THE CHATEAU MARMONT PENTHOUSE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY BLOG POST").

As he was telling me the tale, I couldn't help but have the opening title music from the classic film "PSYCHO" playing in my head.

Enjoy the read!

PICTURE THIS

While it rained AGAIN in San Francisco yesterday, I found myself on the road again (with Joe) and the destination was Fort Ross (a settlement along the beautiful and rugged Sonoma County coastline, built by Russian immigrants in the 1800's).

The top picture is looking North, the bottom picture is looking South.

Such a beautiful ride.

FEED ME, SEYMOUR

Their telephone salutation is the inspiration of Junna's blog name ("Hello Yummy") and they come HIGHLY recommended by Ryan.

Last night, I became a convert.

Pho is a Vietnamese soup with Rice Vermicelli noddles, green onions and, in my case, a generous helping of thinly-sliced steak (rare, just the way I like it). Oh man, this was so, so, SO good.

Unfortunately, they do not have a website link that I can include here, but when you're in San Francisco, you MUST check 'em out.

Yummy Yummy
1015 Irving St. (btwn 11th and 12 Avenues)

A STOLEN LIFE

I get so tired when I see parts of my life show up on the big screen, especially when I haven't been properly compensated. However, I'm able to easily let it go this time, after all, who wouldn't be flattered by having George Clooney portray them on film?

Those of you who know a little bit about me know that I spent several years flying for work. When I was with WaMu Capital Corp in Seattle, they would fly me up from SFO every Sunday and fly me home every Friday. Living in five-diamond splendor at the Fairmont Olympic Hotel was kinda nice, as well. This commute schedule lasted a year before the gravy train reached the station with the collapse of the housing market. WaMu (a part of Washington Mutual Bank) failed and was bought out by Chase. I eventually left securities and made a rather easy transition to a new career. I am now an Junior Copywriter for a struggling major retailer in San Francisco.

Anway, I mention all of this because I finally saw UP IN THE AIR last night, and it brought back some amusing memories. Watching George as the business traveler who could pack a suitcase so efficiently, who could aptly pick out which security line would be fastest by seeing who was already in line, knowing nearly all the airport codes by heart, doing whatever it took to earn those extra air miles and achieve that elite status was like watching myself. Those were all things I did and did very well. As a United Airlines Milege Plus 1K flier, I also received in-flight thank you cards from pilots of whatever flight I was on. So cool.

The film also perfectly portrayed the seemingly cocoonish-lifestyle of the business traveler. You are kind of cut-off from regular folks and it is a bit strange and stressful at times (at least for me) when your only human interaction is with airline and hotel staff (it got pretty old being called Mr. Crayne after a while).

It is nice being back on the ground and I can't imagine what it would be like to fly as regularly today as I did back then, with the ridiculous security measures that are now the norm.

By the way, it's a hell of a movie.

FAREWELL

Conan O'Brien's last night on NBC is tonight, and when he leaves, he will also leave behind Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog (NBC owns the intellectual rights). I do wonder if the plastic comic genius will show up on Saturday Night Live, as Robert Smigel (the voice of Triumph) works with that show as well.

One could only hope, right? There are so many funny moments with Triumph that it's difficult to pick out one standout, but I'm gonna go with his infamous feud with Eminem.

During a moment at the 2002 MTV Video Awards, Triumph was shoved to the side by the humor-impaired rap star with such force that the dog was seriously hurt. Later that week, Triumph gave a press conference, and while wearing a neck brace, announced that he was so badly injured in the scuffle that he could no longer lick himself - even in the presence of Christina Aguelira.

So long, Triumph, you will be missed.

HUH?

I don't know whether or not I support replacing bus service from the Oakland Coliseum BART station to Oakland International Airport with an AirBART train line (the cost to riders is expected to go from $3 to $7 each way) but something fairly ridiculous has reared it's ugly head.

The project stands to lose $70 Million in federal funding if it does not complete and submit an analysis of whether this project will adversely affect minority communities. This report is due on March 5.

WTF?

AirBART's route does not go through any residential neighborhoods, so I'm not sure what this reasoning is about. There is a lot of opposition to this project, so it's probably just a ploy to have the project not built. The total cost of the 3.2 mile extension is $440 Million and is expected to be completed by 2013.

I'm wondering if this reason can be used to stop construction of the Central Subway in San Francisco, where the 1.5 mile subway system is being constructed for $1.6 Billion.

HUH?

After all the animosity and the back and forth, Sarah Palin will be campaigning for her former running mate John McCain, who is running for reelection.

HUH?

Cindy McCain, wife of Republican party nominee for President John McCain is now appearing in a pro-gay marriage ad for NOH8, a group that is currently challenging the anti-gay marriage proposition 8. John, who is currently running for re-election in Arizona, released a statement clarifying that him and his wife have a difference of opinion on this issue and that he still opposed to gay marriage.

Kudos to Cindy.

THE VICTORY GARDEN RETURNS

My mom told me recently that a neighbor and her were talking about the high cost of produce, so they decided plant a garden together. Word spread and now several neighbors have joined in and the idea has turned into a neighborhood garden.

This is such a great idea. It's environmentally-friendly (since they won't be using pesticides AND there is no long-distance transportation involved), cost effective, and VERY healthy since everything will be harvested fresh.

There is nothing more satisfying than walking outside your home and picking something fresh out of a garden to eat. It was something I took for granted as a kid. We always had a large garden growing up, as did most of our neighbors. It was one of the many benefits I enjoyed, having grown up in a small farm town (although I didn't know it at the time).

So cool.

I LOVE ETHEL

She wasn't their first choice, yet when Vivian Vance was offered the role, she turned it down - - MORE THAN ONCE.

Thanks to the persistence of Producer and Co-star Desi Arnaz, she very reluctantly accepted the offer and went on to become a television icon. I can't imagine anyone else in the role of Ethel Mertz.

Her unpublished autobiography, completed shortly before her death in 1979, has been discovered and is currently being shopped around. I read an excerpt and think it would be a terrific read and hope to see it on bookshelves soon.

GROUNDED FOR LIFE

I came across an amusing article on SFGATE about a teenager in Queens, NY who missed curfew by one hour and was grounded for five weeks by her parents. She took to FACEBOOK and created a page to protest her punishment and gained nearly 1000 fans in hopes to have that punishment overturned.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOCTURNAL ADMISSION

Jay Leno, on his show last night, tried to tap-dance his way out of situation where his so-called "nice guy image" has taken a huge blow.

He admits that he never wanted to leave "The Tonight Show" but that he was approached in 2004 by NBC executives about leaving the show. Even though he was Number #1 in the ratings, the same executives didn't feel he could sustain the rating and that they were grooming Conan O'Brien to succeed him.

HUH?

That makes no sense and I don't buy it for one second. Why would executives want to mess with anything that could possible ruin that top rating? Funny, though, how everyone seems to have forgotten about when Johnny Carson retired and Jay took over the late night desk, ratings tanked. David Letterman's ratings for his show on CBS took off and it was about a year or so before "The Tonight Show" returned to the number #1 spot.

It's a shame that NBC executives were unable to extend the same privilege to Conan, who is, by the way, much, much, MUCH funnier than the bland-as-a-stale-old-piece-of-white toast Jay.

STORM'S COMIN'

And it's here. Oh boy is it!

MISTY WATER-COLORED MEMORIES

You're an old-school New Yorker if you ever saw a movie at the Angelica 57 on W. 57th Street and the movie I saw there was Reservoir Dogs - a midnight showing, no less.

Today, the now long-gone and much beloved arthouse theater is a grocery store.

(sigh)

PICTURE THIS

Just a few shots from today's visit to the Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park.

SCIENCE FICTION (oooh oooh oooh) DOUBLE FEATURE

A not so-subtle rebuke of the communist witch hunts of the 1950's, this four star film is on Fox Movie Channel today and should be on your NetFlix list as well. I especially LOVE the movie poster. A blonde in a strapless bathingsuit does NOT appear anywhere in this film. It's typical of the science fiction movie posters from that era.

So sexist and yet so cool.

PICTURE THIS

I took this shot around 7:30 am today. Nice, little dramatic sunrise over San Francisco from the viewpoint area of Twin Peaks.

MY ROOTS THING

So I learned how to make Posteles yesterday. They're the Puerto Rican version of the Tamale, except they're made with Green Bananas, not Corn. SABE TAN BIEN!!

ARS GRATIA ARTIS

I totally stole this picture from Junna's blog but I just couldn't help myself. It's such a great shot and she always manages to post the best photos on her blog.

Enjoy.

I HAVE SEEN THE DEVIL . . .

. . . and his name is Pat Robertson.

Fuck you, Pat. You are NOT a Christian and you need to stop calling yourself one.

THE MOST RIDICULOUS CITY IN AMERICA IS . . .

San Francisco.

Seriously, it's a city that fights against itself rather than for itself. The latest example of this is one I read about on SFGATE regarding the empty storefronts along 24th Street, which runs through the Mission District and Noe Valley.

In 1987, residents were bothered about the number of restaurants popping up and were concerned that other local neighborhood-serving business were being pushed out by increasing rents. So, a ban on new restaurants was instituted. Now that the economy has collapsed and there are blocks and blocks of empty storefronts, people are screaming to get those restaurants back. The planning commission is now going to reverse the rule and allow new restaurants to only replace ones that have closed.

Neighborhoods change all the time and I don't understand why people don't just let businesses in those neighborhoods to open and then allow them to run their natural course.

It reminds me of the American Apparel fiasco on Valencia Street.

There are several blocks of empty storefronts along Valencia Street (and have been for many years). Clothing retailer American Apparel wanted to move in. Neighborhood activists fought tooth and nail against having a chain store in their neighborhood and eventually got what they wanted. American Apparel's permit was denied and nearly two years later, that store front is still empty.

So rather than allow a business to come in, provide jobs and some much needed sales tax revenue, the city listened to these "neighborhood activists" and now everyone has nothing.

Hope they're all happy now.

OW, THAT IS FUCKING HOT!!!!

"The House Bunny" is the dumbest movie ever . . .

. . . and yet I laugh my ASS off everytime I watch it. So funny.

BILLION DOLLAR BABY

So the Board of Stupid-visors of San Francisco unanimously approved the plan to revoke upscale department store BARNEY'S NEW YORK permission for partial use of public space in their basement area (the basement area in question will become part of a new subway station, when completed). Seems SF is ready to begin work on the 1.5 mile central subway system, which will run from China Basin to Chinatown for the bargain-basement price (no pun intended) of . . .

1.6 Billion Dollars. Yes, that is not a typo, 1.6 BILLION, with a "B."

Rather than spend that wad of greenback on a more useful transit project (oh, like the Geary St. Subway, that could have run all the way to the beach from downtown, thus clearing the Geary Street/Boulevard corridor of traffic AND dirty air), those in charge decided a 1.5 mile subway system that offers limited service to a small segment of MUNI riders was the better choice.

Idiots.

SPEAKEASY

During my New York years, I always managed to have a small bar within the various apartments I lived in. I was (still am, to a degree) obsessed with the glamour era of when clubs like El Morroco, The Copacobana, and The Stork Club were open. An era when drinking and smoking were compulsory and when it was all good for you. My latest book purchase feeds into that obsession.

"Vintage Cocktails" is a small collection of drink recipes, beautifully photographed in a spiral-bound hardcover. I was particularly thrilled to read that each drink was mixed and photographed in what is the last great nightclub (sort of, it's more of a cabaret with a strictly enforced dress code - gotta love that) in New York City, the Cafe Carlyle.

STUPID THINGS STUPID WHITE PEOPLE DO

Yesterday was the 9th annual "No Pants Day" on transit systems all over the world. It was originally organized by New York City performance art group, Improv Everywhere, back in 2001.

sigh

PICTURE THIS

Just a couple of shots from the seven mile hike I was on this past Saturday with Joe and 60 other guys through Donner Canyon on Mt. Diablo.

TRIBUTE

he was once a little green slab of clay

GUMBY!

you should see what Gumby can do today

GUMBY!

he can walk into any book

with his pony pal Pokey too

if you've got a heart then Gumby's apart of you

Creator of childhood favorite GUMBY, Art Clokey, died friday at age 89.

IT'S GOOD TO BE THE KING

Today would have been the 75th birthday of the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley. TCM is showing a marathon of his films this afternoon. Most of them are pretty bad, but one that is a stand out is "Viva Las Vegas." I say that with a slight grimace because it's not a great movie.

What makes it a standout if it's not a great movie?

The chemistry between Elvis and co-star Ann-Margret is absolutely undeniable. This still from the film captures the smoldering electricity between the two, who had a PASSIONATE affair off-screen.

Check out "Jailhouse Rock" if your looking for a good Elvis movie. Good story, good acting and of course, GREAT songs.

32 INCHES OF LOVE

My brand-new Vizio 32-inch HD flat panel television.

Te Adoro!

DOUCHE BAG

San Francisco Supervisor Chris Daly has announced, via Facebook, that he will use the word "FUCK" at each of his remaining board meetings this year (he will be termed-out at the end of the year).

With so much to say about the work that needs to be done in the neighborhoods he represents, this douche bag can't come up with anything better to say than "FUCK?" No wonder people outside San Francisco laugh at us? Then again, we get what we deserve when losers like this one get elected into office.

Just for the record, Mr. Daly represents District 6, which includes the Civic Center, Tenderloin, South of Market, Treasure Island and Yerba Buena Island neighborhoods.

LUCKY DOGS

Who wouldn't fall in love with this dog at first sight?

Chihuahuas from Bay Area shelters that might have been otherwise euthanized, have been flown to New York City for adoption. Courtesy of VirginAmerica, these cute dogs got to walk a red carpet at the gate and were even allowed to fly in the cabin on open seats with volunteers.

As many of you know, Virgin is the exclusive carrier of The Steaming Poop staff and it's stories like this that make us feel even better about flying an airline we already love, Love, LOVE!

Special shout out to Tobi, today's winner of the "Pooper Scooper" award for the heads up on this story.

THIS IS WHY I ONLY FLY FIRST CLASS

In other flight related news today, it seems that five Business Class passengers on an Air France flight from Tokyo to Paris were pickpocketed as they slept. According to news reports, about $4000 euros ($5744 in US Dollars) was reported missing.

Air France has said that while it is responsible for baggage carried in the hold, passengers had responsibility for possessions they had with them in the cabin.

Not only is this why I only fly First Class, but I'll bet the pickpocket used a Discover Card to pay for his/her ticket.