DON'T SLEEP IN THE SUBWAY, DARLING

A friend of mine recently told me about a friend of his falling asleep (i.e. passed out drunk) on a subway train in New York City. He woke up when the train reached the end of the line (in Brooklyn) to see that someone had cut a hole in his pocket and took his wallet.

God, I love that town!

BEAUTY SCHOOL DROPOUT

I once stood next to DiDi Conn at a stop light on Broadway and W. 17th.

DUDE, TRY THE SALAD BAR

I came across this amusing (at least I thought it was amusing) NEWSWEEK article on whether or not fat kids should not have fat friends.

According to a recent study conducted by the The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, it seems that obese kids who hung out with friends that were also obese, were likely to eat more than if they had play dates with friends who were thin.

Duh.

THANK YOU, ORANGE COUNTY

"Gray Davis can run a dirty campaign better than anyone, but he can't run a state"
- - Arnold Schwarzenegger, California State Governor


"And neither can you, asshole"
- - Scott Crayne, editor-in-chief of The Steaming Poop blog

FEED ME, SEYMOUR

So, Cookie and Irving celebrated their 25th last night (private joke) at TOKYO GO-GO, on 16th between Guererro and Valencia, and it was goooooooooood.

They started off with the Tuna/Salmon Tartar served on a bed (if that would be a correct use of the term) fresh guacamole with shrimp chips. As you can see (yellow plate picture above) they (mostly, Irving) made it almost disappear before Irving remembered to take a picture.

They then moved on to a fairly standard sushi dinner of Tuna and Salmon Sashimi, Rainbow and Kamakazi Rolls, and a late-arriving Tekka Roll. All of this was washed down with Cookie's Vanilla Lemon Drop (Stoli, fresh squeezed lemon and served in a sugar-rimmed glass) and Irving's Gin and Tonic Flower (which must have been a special drink, as it's ingredients did not appear on their online menu as of press time - Irving did know it had tonic and was made with Tanqueray Gin).

LET THE MCCAIN-ING BEGIN

Former Presidential candidate John McCain returned to Phoenix for a town hall meeting regarding healthcare reform, and just like the other town halls, the audience was unruly, out of control and out of line. But, just like when Barney Frank shut down that psycho woman holding the picture of President Obama with a Hitler mustache, McCain told this woman to shut up. When she refused to shut her pie-hole, he had security remove from the event, to great applause.

I almost want to applaud McCain as well, but still hold it against him that we have to deal with Sarah Palin, who ironically, is leading the charge of people against the reforms.

THE SPRUCE GOOSE REDUX?

Boeing recently announced that it's LONG-overdue 787 Dreamliner will begin test flights at the end of this year, with deliveries to anxious carriers to begin sometime in the fourth quarter of next year. It's first flight (under the Singapore Airlines banner) was originally to have taken place in the fall of 2007.

There was a lot of excitement surrounding this new airliner. Made of lightweight carbon composite, it was also going to fly further than other airliners on less fuel, making it much more environmentally friendly than previous airliners. Another innovation was the assembly, as that process was done overseas, with those parts then sent over to Seattle for attachment. Unfortunately, parts did not fit correctly, causing long and costly delays.

As a connoisseur of fine first class service, the Dreamliner excites me, even if I have to work through the  whole "this plane was snapped together, so of course it's going to fall apart when I'm on it" issue.

THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE

The end of an era seems to be approaching and I'm sort of bummed about it (and, I suppose, part of the problem, as well).

With online bill pay and email becoming the norm, the U.S. Postal Service is dealing with record deficits ($2.4 billion loss as of June 30). They are not only beginning to offer union employees $15k payouts to leave, but the idea of ending Saturday mail delivery has been bounced around.

I have my bills delivered online and pay them online, as well. Yeah, it's more convenient and environmentally friendly, but there is something to be said about opening your mailbox and having something waiting for you.

Progress.

THIS HOUSE IS EXQUISITE, I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN OFFER

Who says the housing market has collapsed?

Measuring in at 9 1/2 feet wide and 42 feet long, this is the narrowest home in New York City and it's on the market for $2.7 million. For all you history buffs out there, this was also the home of Edna St. Vincent Millay.

Edna is the author of the poem "A Few Figs From Thistles," from which the infamous line "my candle burns at both ends" comes from. She was also the first woman to win the Pulitzer Prize (1923) for "The Harp-Weaver, and Other Poems."

Anthropologist Margaret Mead lived there, as well (not at the same time, of course).

Located at 75 1/2 Bedford Street, this West Village home is just up the street from the "Friends" apartment building (Bedford and Grove).

PARIS MATCH THIS!

Sharon Stone is SMOKING HOT in her latest photo spread appearing in Paris Match. I'm amused that there seems to be a small broohaha about a 51-year old woman posing topless. I mean, really. It's not like her tits are bouncing off her knees or anything. Besides, does anyone remember Joan Collins' vomit-inducing "spread" for PLAYBOY back in 1983? YIKES!

Anyway, I think it's just that old green-eyed envy monster rearing it's ugly head here because if I (or any of you) were looking as good as she does in the pics above, you better believe your fat ass I'd be dressing like this for work EVERYDAY!

THERE ARE 8 MILLION STORIES IN THE NAKED CITY AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM (well, ok, maybe two of them)

A much-touted urban park along an elevated, former railroad trestle has accidentally turned into a peep show near The Standard Hotel and the hotel is doing everything it can to encourage the behavior. Until yesterday afternoon, The hotel's Facebook page posted the following:

"We encourage you to exercise your inner exhibitionist. Please share your intimate, and explicit photos with us -- those floor to ceiling windows aren't just for the views . . ."

"Whatever you do, just make sure the shots are HOT and that you get them to us in whichever way you can. It's all about sex all the time, and you're our star."

Sounds like my kind of place.

Although I do plan to stroll by on my next visit (wink), here's a little history on the High-Line Pedestrian Park because what's going on at The Standard shouldn't be your only reason to check out this little gem (plus, no pets are allowed, which makes for a nicer experience).

To deal with increasing freight train service and the danger of running those trains at street level, the city built the High-Line. It ran from 34th Street to Spring Street and was designed to go through the center of blocks, rather than over streets and sidewalks. This design not only sought to avoid the usual negative conditions associated with elevated subways, but it allowed trains to be connected directly to factories and warehouses and allowed trains to roll right inside buildings.

Abandoned in 1980, High-Line Railroad sat unused for years until there were calls to tear it down when real estate prices began to soar. Some forward thinking neighborhood activists were able to convince the city to save and restore the High-Line as a pedestrian park, which it has, with great success.

TOURISTS TO THE RIGHT, PLEASE

I have decided to devote some time on educating people regarding escalator etiquette, as it seems that no one else is willing to take a stand on this serious issue.

Just like the picture shows above, standees need to step to the right, so the less lazy and more productive riders can go about their day and get to the top faster. Seriously folks, are you so out of shape and/or lazy that you can't even walk up a moving staircase? I'm aware that some people may have vertigo or some sort of issue that necessitates the need to not walk while the stairs are in motion but that doesn't mean that your selfish traveling companion gets to stand next to you and hold up the rest of the line behind him or her.

PEOPLE WHO CRY AT WORK . . .

ARE PUSSYS!

Seriously, when did this become acceptable? There are medications out there that will help you even out your moods and your health plan covers them all.

Think about it.

ROSE TINT MY WORLD

I came across these pictures today and thought I'd just throw 'em up here as a tribute to 1950's, one of my favorite decades. It's the old Stonestown Shopping Center on 19th Avenue in San Francisco. Unfortunately, I am old enough to remember when it looked like this (but only because it still looked like this in the 80's)

If you click the first picture, you will notice what appears to be a ferris wheel on the roof. It was a Christmas time tradition for The Emporium to have a holiday carnival on the roof of it's flagship Market Street location in San Francisco, complete with a Santa town and rides for the kids. When the department store opened it's location at Stonestown, they continued the tradition there as well. This was revived at the downtown location in the early '90's with great success.

Originally opened in 1952 by the Stoneson Brothers, it is now called the Stonestown Galleria and is a two-story indoor mall. The Emporium was replaced by Macys after it went out of business many years ago.

THE ORIGINAL INGLOURIOUS BASTERD

So I saw "INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS" yesterday and don't think I could have enjoyed a movie more. I believe it could be the best in a long line of great films directed by Quentin Tarantino. With that said, this entry isn't going to be a review of the film, of which there are many and most agree, along with me, that it's a terrific film.

Brad Pitt's character is named Aldo Ray, an obvious nod to an actor who worked a lot in the 50's and 60's. He is somewhat forgotten today, so i'm just giving him a shout out.

¡AZUCAR!

At just over $11 for a a six-pack, it did seem a bit pricey but to be able to sit back and enjoy a Dr. Pepper made with real cane sugar (just like in the old days), it was totally worth it. I loved the old time packaging as well.

(you can purchase Dr. Pepper original recipe here)

I've found in my recent trips to the grocery store that more products seem to be going back to sugar after a 25 + year relationship with High-Fructose Corn Syrup. There has been a back lash against this product and with reason. It is pretty much accepted that the ever increasing obesity and diabetes rates in this country can be attributed to the ingredient.

The corn lobby recently began to battle back against this thinking with commercials touting that "in moderation, products with High-Fructose Corn Syrup are safe and healthy for you."

In moderation???? How can that be taken seriously when it's in pretty much everything?

(link courtesy of www.itsanocean.com)

NOW WE KNOW WHY WE'VE BECOME A COUNTRY FULL OF CHICKEN LITTLES

I remember when President Bush appointed Tom Ridge as head of Homeland Security after the 9/11 attacks. He seemed like a good fit for the job and talked up some good cock and bull about what the department's objective was. Plus, I thought he looked like a character straight out of a Dick Tracy comic (if not Dick Tracy himself).

Anyway, Ridge was in the news this morning, as he has a book coming out and he has become the latest in an increasingly long line of those who served in the previous administration to throw the President and Vice-President under the bus.

I certainly wasn't surprised to hear this but it seems that Ridge was pushed to raise the terror threat alert so the 2004 presidential election could be tipped in favor of Republican candidates, including the Cheney/Bush ticket (I always refer to them as Cheney/Bush as we all know that it was Dick Cheney who was really running the show and that Bush was just his muppet).

Ridge says he objected to raising the security level despite the urgings of former Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and then-Attorney General John Ashcroft, according to a publicity release from Ridge's publisher. He said the episode convinced him to follow through with his plans to leave the administration; he resigned on Nov. 30, 2004.

Bush's former homeland security adviser, Frances Townsend, said Thursday that politics never played a role in determining alert levels.

I wouldn't have expected any other response.

STORMS COMIN' - pour ryan et junna

THEY SAID "NEVER FORGET" WHICH OF COURSE, THEY HAVE

The results of a new ABC News/ Washington Post poll regarding public opinion on the war in Afghanistan were released yesterday and the results are VERY disturbing.

It seems that 51 percent of those polled do not believe the war is worth fighting and that 36 percent believe we are losing the war. Think about that for a minute: a war not worth fighting for. Perhaps some of those who took part in this poll should step back for a minute and think about why it is we are there in the first place and if they don't remember, please, let me jar that memory.

On September 11, 2001, members of the al-Qaida terrorist group hijacked four airlines, three of which hit their intended targets. One was crashed into the Pentagon. Another plane, which many believe was headed for the White House or Capital Building, was taken over by heroic passengers and crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. Two other jets were crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City. The group of hijackers were acting on the order of OSAMA BIN LADEN, who at one point, was known be hiding in the mountain range between Afghanistan and Pakistan.

We went into Afghanistan looking for Bin Laden. It was a half-assed attempt, of course, as the Cheney-Bush administration decided it was a better idea to go after Iraq, under the guise that THEY were involved in the 9/11 attacks, which of course, they were not.

THAT, my friends and foes, is WHY we are fighting a war in Afghanistan. I find it so disturbing to see this high number of Americans believing that we are wasting our time over there. I'm also willing to bet that a lot of these people who took part in this poll (or feel the same way) are driving around in gas-guzzling SUV's with faded yellow ribbon stickers that say "SUPPORT OUR TROOPS."

I plan to write and send an e-mail to the White House today to ask that the President consider going on TV and remind the citizens of this country, who seem to be suffering from a severe case of short-term memory loss, why we're there in the first place. It would be great if you did the same as well.

IT WAS MY FIRST ART FILM

And I now own it!

As a child, this film was shown at least once a year at school and I always enjoyed seeing it. Watching it as an adult has not dulled it's impact. The restoration and DVD transfer (done in conjunction with Criterion) is exquisite and looks as it was filmed with in the last few years.

Released in 1956, this little gem won the Palme d'Or (short film) at Cannes and took home the Oscar that year for best original screenplay (a true testament to the power of this film since there is virtually no dialog and it runs about 34 minutes).

The film tells the story of a boy named Pascal who, on his way to school one morning, discovers a large red balloon outside is apartment building. He soon realizes the balloon has a mind and will of its own as it begins to follow Pascal through the streets of Paris, much to the bemusement of onlookers. At one point, Pascal and his balloon encounter a little girl with a blue balloon that also seems to have a mind of its own (and an amusing attraction between the two balloons is played out).

In their travels around the city, Pascal and the balloon encounter a gang of bullies. This gang of thugs eventually take the balloon away from Pascal and destroy it. As the balloon slowly deflates, one of the bully steps on it and, in a sense, kills it. This makes for a very emotional moment that is on par with the shooting of Old Yeller.

The film ends on an emotional high as the other balloons in Paris come to Pascal's aid and take him on a triumphant ride over the city. I can't think of another film that keeps me smiling from beginning to end.

See this film PRONTO!

THE BEST OF 1967- FILM

and Richard Dreyfuss is in it.

Oh, and just for the record, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this movie!

THE WORST OF 1967 - FILM

and Richard Dreyfuss is in it (and if anyone can get me an image of his scene with Patty Duke, I'd appreciate it).

Oh, and just for the record, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this movie!

SOMETHING SPECIAL HAS ARRIVED AT BARNEY'S TODAY

Just a quick shout out to Junna on her first day at BARNEYS NEW YORK. Kudos for landing at one of the finest (if not finest) stores in the business.

You should also check out her blog at www.helloyummy.blogspot.com

COULD CHARLES MANSON BE THE NEW FACE OF THE GAY MARRIAGE DEBATE?

40 years ago this month, members of the Charles Mason "family" went on a gruesome killing spree in Southern California that left 7 people dead and a nation shaken. Recently, I was reading an article on SFGATE that revisited this story and there was a "where are they now" section at the end that stopped me in my tracks.

It seems that while in prison, the three men who took part in the killings, Charles "Tex" Watson, Bruce Davis, and Robert Beausoliel, were all allowed to not only marry while serving life sentences, but all were allowed conjugal visits that produced several children.

So three murdering scumbags are allowed to marry (and procreate, as it turns out) but gays and lesbians can't?

WTF?

Well, at least the sanctity of marriage has been preserved.

URBAN JUNGLE, MY ASS

As many of you know, I have issues about the city of San Francisco and today's rant addresses one of them.

The picture above is one I took yesterday on my travels around town, at the corner of 16th and Harrison. It seems that when a sidewalk tree in San Francisco dies, the Department of Public Works comes along, cuts it down and rather than replace it with another tree, it fills the empty space left behind with cement (in the above case, however, it looks like they couldn't even bother with cutting the whole tree down). This, personal opinion only, is totally unacceptable and I'm not the only one who is frustrated about this.

The Arbor Day Foundation is a terrific organization that promotes tree plantings around the country and runs the Tree City USA campaign. When lobbying "The City" regarding the lack of trees in neighborhoods, they found the process set in place (in getting sidewalk trees replaced and properly maintained) to be so difficult and cumbersome (along with elected officials that seemed less than enthusiastic about this issue) that this organization threw in the towel and moved on. Sadly ironic for a city that prides it's self with the way it embraces "green" issues, don't you think?

As I walk around this town, I am noticing more and more spaces where trees once grew that are now filled in with cement. Trees are such an important component of our landscape. They moderate ground temperature (and global warming makes this issue quite critical), produce oxygen and help reduce carbon dioxide. Trees also add to the aesthetic beauty of the neighborhoods and parks where they are planted and provide, I believe, a sense of civility as well.

I am going to give a call to the San Francisco Department of Public Works Bureau of Urban Forestry and suggest you do, too.

TRIBUTE

Without Les Paul, there would be no Bill Haley and the Comets, no Chuck Berry and no Beatles. We would have never had Jimi Hendrix, The Who, Ann and Nancy Wilson or Jimmy Page. Carlos Santana, Keith Richards, who are they? No one would have heard of Prince, Joan Jett or Lita Ford. How about Eddie Van Halen, Robin Finck or even Slash?

Les Paul, who invented the electric guitar (in 1941) and multi-track recording, passed away today at the age of 94. He changed the music industry FOREVER and for that I just have give my thanks.

Thanks, Les.

A STEAMING POOP SPECIAL REPORT-THE BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL IS NOT CLOSING

One of California's most beautiful and historic hotels, The Beverly Hills Hotel, is NOT closing, despite persistent rumors that state otherwise.

In a Steaming Poop exclusive telephone interview with the hotel, I was assured that this landmark, last closed in 1992 for a 2-year renovation, is NOT scheduled to close anytime soon (whew, that was close as I was about to run to Ace Hardware and pick up some chains so I could lock myself to something there).

Affectionately referred to as "The Pink Palace," this 12 acre oasis first opened in 1912, when Beverly Hills was still pretty much a mud flat. One of my highlights whenever I visit Los Angeles is having breakfast at the famed Polo Lounge.

NOW BOARDING

It was officially announced today that my favorite airline (and the official airline of THE STEAMING POOP blog), Virgin America, will begin non-stop service from San Francisco and Los Angeles to Fort Lauderdale on November 18th.

The introductory price is $119 each way.

This is terrific news but how about you guys add Chicago and Phoenix to your list of destinations?

WHAT A WAY TO GO

The New York Times did a feature today on the growing popularity of train service to the airport. I am a HUGE proponent of public transport and have used the services referenced in the article and couldn't have agreed more. While some might argue about convenience (there is something to be said about cabbing straight from your apartment to the airport), rail service is more environmentally friendly and MUCH less expensive and, in many cases, faster than traditional Cabs.

I once timed myself from the corner of Hudson and Barrow Streets (West Village) in New York City to JFK, where I was to board my VirginAmerica flight to San Francisco. I used a yellow cab, then Long Island Railroad train service to the AirTrain platform for a total travel time of, I kid you not, 28 minutes. By the way, my flight took off on time and had an early landing at SFO. I love VirginAmerica Airlines.

Now I admit, this was an unusually seamless journey. The cab just happened to be right there when I hailed it. We hit nearly ALL the green lights (and if anyone has ever taken a New York City cab, you know when your cabbie is weaving in and out of the traffic and using the horn, you've got someone who knows what he's doing--tip him well). Then, the LIRR train I would need just happened to be boarding when I got there and it was an express (first stop, Jamaica Queens, transfer point for the JFK AirTrain). I made my way up to the AirTrain platform just as it was beginning it's boarding process and returning to JFK.

At the end of the day, however, it doesn't matter whether or not it was unusually seamless. A cab would have taken twice as long and been, at least, four times as expensive (LIRR ticket was $5, AirTrain was also $5. Cab fare from Hudson and Barrow was roughly $7, including tip). Total cost of this trip, $17. Had I taken a cab all the way to JFK from the West Village, the fare would have, including tolls and tip, brought the total to, roughly, $60 to $70.

Not only is that just simple economics, but the positive effect on the environment is priceless.

DOES A VISIT TO THE RIPLEYS BELIEVE IT OR NOT MUSEUM COUNT AS EXPOSURE TO CULTURE?

My nephew, Zachary, was in town yesterday and REALLY wanted to visit the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum in Fisherman's Wharf. I was SO not into it but it was his day here, so I sucked it up, took him and ended up enjoying myself. My enjoyment came mostly from watching him loving everything they had to offer.

The picture above is us standing in front of a mirror with a sign directing us to do a Dizzy Gillespie imitation, which as you can see, we did. Turns out these are two-way mirrors, so on your way out of the museum, you get to see the people at the beginning of the tour doing the same thing and I LOVED it (although it totally played into my issues about why I don't try on clothes in department stores).

I'LL BET THE MAYTAG REPAIRMAN NEVER SAW THIS COMING

I found this amusing article on MSNBC regarding what REALLY happens to socks in the washing machine and why we (or at least why I) seem to always end up with a bunch of swinging singles.

THE GREAT TACO WARS OF 2009 - PRIMERA PARTE

Having suffered from the addiction of Los Compadres tacos for nearly a year now, I thought it would be fun to branch out and rate the tacos around town. So I found myself at PANCHO VILLA TAQUERIA yesterday and as you can see, I ordered their version of the Taco. The verdict: I wasn't impressed.

I have to admit, it was very surprising. The lines at this establishment are always long and they do make one hell of a Burrito. However, this taco turned out to be very bland (and this was their spicy version). Also, I had to resort to using a fork, as there was a little too much "filling" to pick up the taco by hand. Ultimately, I think what really bothered me the most was that at $3, only one taco is served, while Los Compadres gives you three for the low, low price of $4.50. It would be a bargain at double the price and in these troubling economic times, that is nothing to sniff at.

So the final verdict is, for Burritos, head over to Pancho Villa (it's in the piss-poor area of 16th and Valencia Streets). For Tacos, stick with Los Compadres.

¡ASI QUE FELIZ!

ONLY A NOBODY WALKS IN L.A.

But in San Francisco, that's how you get around.

This is something that amused me during a quick jaunt earlier this afternoon.

ELIXIR OF THE GODS

Thanks for the good night's rest, NyQuil. Someone should figure out how the NOBEL PRIZE in medicine can be bestowed on VICKS (maker of this fine, fine product). I love this stuff. It's not as addictive than Ativan and you don't need a prescription (unless you're in Amsterdam -- true story). Costco sells it by the drum for, like, $3.99. SCHWEEEET!

GOVERNOR MOONBEAM, PART DEUX?

I was surprised when California State Attorney General Jerry Brown's name was being thrown around as a possible candidate for Governor when Ahnauld's term is finished. Term limits were voted into law back in 1990 and the Attorney General had already served two terms as governor (1975 to 1983). Turns out the term limit law doesn't apply here as he served before it went into effect. Personally, I'd love to see Jerry back in Sacramento.

The Attorney General has managed to raise over $7 million for a race he hasn't officially declared his candidacy for. Amusingly, San Francisco's absentee mayor and fashion plate Gavin Newsom HAS officially declared himself a candidate, yet has only managed to raise a little over $1 million for his campaign. After seeing what San Francisco has become since he was elected, I can't think of anything worse for California than seeing Gavin serving in Sacramento.

Carla Marinucci, the San Francisco Chronicle's political reporter (and a terrific one at that), has a piece about the suggestion that Gavin run for Lt. Governor.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. PRESIDENT

Today is President Barack Obama's 48th birthday and here is his present (all wrapped up with a BIG BLUE BOW): conservative windbag and sociopath Anna Coulter appearing on Geraldo Riviera's FOX News program and admitting that the "BIRTHERS" (people who believe that the President was NOT born in the United States of America) are wrong. She also went on to throw fellow conservative windbag Lou Dobbs of CNN under the bus for his continuing coverage of this non-story.

Enjoy your day, Mr. President and many happy wishes to you from the staff at The Steaming Poop blog.

COME BACK TO THE FIVE AND DIME, 42ND STREET, 42ND STREET

Many years ago, a friend of mine told me of how he, while going home following a night of heavy drinking, was mugged at the corner of 42nd Street and 7th Avenue. After this friend was held up at knifepoint, the suspect turned to run away with his misbegotten bounty. My friend, with a boozy bravado, screamed “Oh great, you're not gonna leave me with any money to get home?” Without missing a beat, the mugger stopped long enough to throw on the ground, the exact subway fare he needed get home.

The old “FORTY-DEUCE” may have been dirty and dangerous, but it still had a heart.