MINUTE MEN

So according to the latest New England Journal of Medicine report regarding weight loss, the belief that sex is a great way to burn calories has been officially declared an urban legend. The report says that the average sexual encounter lasts for an average of just six minutes, not enough time for any kind of meaningful exercise or caloric burn.

Holy shitballs, Batman! An average of just six minutes? Wow, I suppose it could be said that you would probably benefit more from walking around looking for sex than you would if you were actually having sex.

That is so sad.

TRIBUTE

The Andrew Sisters were one of the most popular singing groups of the 1940's, and this clip featuring their biggest hit, The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B, shows why.

Yeah, they were pretty awesome.

Patty Andrews (the blonde in the middle), the last surviving member of the group that included Maxine and Laverne, passed away yesterday at age 94.

So long, Patty. You did good, real good.

ALLIED FORCES

I recently read that a few hours after winning the AFC Championship, Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo sent out emails to fellow same-sex marriage advocates that asked one question: 

Is there anything I can do for marriage equality or anti-bullying over the next couple of weeks to harness this Super Bowl media?

Wow, what an awesome guy, huh?

Go Ravens!

TIGHT END

Chris Culliver is sure looking like some sweet stuff, huh?

When asked by comedian Artie Lange if there were any gay players on the team, 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver had this to say:

No, we don’t got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff. Nah, can’t be in the locker room man. Nah.

Wow, what an asshole, huh?

The 49er's front office has responded by issuing this response:

The San Francisco 49ers reject the comments that were made yesterday, and have addressed the matter with Chris. There is no place for discrimination within our organization at any level. We have and always will proudly support the LGBT community.

FUNNY SHIT MY BARBER DAN SAYS

It's like a cheese pizza. Kinda bland, but it's still a pizza, so it's good.

-- My barber Dan, on what fake boobs feel like

SIGN LANGUAGE

Honking.

It's an act that's as much a part of the fabric of life in New York City as is jaywalking, dirty water dogs, and subway rats, and now the city seems to be unofficially endorsing the aggressive act by (sort of) reversing its anti-honking law that admittedly didn't seem to enjoy much enforcement, although 206 citations were issued last year.

Transportation officials approved a plan to begin the removal of the amusingly iconic signs, like the one pictured above, with all signs to be completely gone by the end of this year.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

The new BlackBerry 10 is set to be unveiled tomorrow, with lots of anticipation building, at least on this end. I'm especially excited that they've maintained the physical keyboard (X10 model), something I'm a huge fan of, while the the Z10 model with touch-screen keyboard will be available and is set for release first.

From what I've been reading, they've seen the competition, and added many of the touches that drove former users over to iPhone and Android devices, like better display resolution, pixel density, access to over 70,000 Apps, and a 4G LTE connection.

This is a pretty timely release, as I'm looking ahead to my next phone and am not a fan of touch-screen keyboards.

DIG IF YOU WILL THE PICTURE

Here are a few shots I took during a visit to the Frank Lloyd Wright-designed architectural masterpiece, the Marin County Civic Center, this past Friday.

While driving home, I couldn't pass up the chance to pull over and take a few more of what I thought was a  rather dramatic and beautiful-looking San Francisco Bay.

Not bad for the winter season, huh?

VEGGIE TALES

Caving into pressure from The Center for Science in the Public Interest, fast food conglomerate Taco Bell agreed to pull its latest commercial from airwaves following complaints the ad discouraged viewers from bringing vegetable trays to Super Bowl parties this weekend, and instead, bring 12-packs of tacos.

Really?

People who eat at Taco Bell don't eat vegetables or care about their health anyway, so I'm not sure why the CSPI felt the need to turn this into an issue.

MY OZ

Oh New York, you sexy bitch.

OUT OF SYNC

Hey Bill, close your mouth. You're warping the floor with your drool.

So folks are all up in arms about Beyonce, and her choice to lip-sync her performance of the Star Spangled Banner at the inauguration.

So what!

Lip-syncing at events such as this, particularly when the weather is chilly, is not unusual. Whitney Houston lip-synced the same song at the Super Bowl over 20 years ago, and actually landed on the Billboard Top Ten chart with her version.

There are so many other important issues that we can be discussing right now, and if this is what's considered newsworthy and is what is pissing people off, then stop the world, I wanna get off.

SHOE WHORE

I like 'em. I like 'em a lot!

GUN CRAZY

Unfortunately, no one can write a law against mothers owning guns that one day might be turned against them by deranged sons who then commit horrific acts of murder-suicide. Shooting rampages are very hard to prevent because they are so often committed by disturbed young men without criminal records who don't care if they are caught and usually want to die.

-- Rich Lowry, National Review (as his column appeared in The Oregonian)

He's kind of right.

However, just because I don't think the so-called Universal Background Check is necessary and will not work, that doesn't mean I back Mr. Lowry 100%.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: I still believe there should be a ban on ALL assault rifles, both automatic and semi-automatic (because you know how Congress is about semantics and loopholes). Then, when that's done, you ban the manufacture, sale, and import of magazine clips of more than five rounds.

Last but not least, tax the shit out of all gun and bullet purchases. I mean, we have the so-called Sin Tax on cigarettes and alcohol, why not firearms? I say a tax of 75% is a nice place to start. We also require some sort of drivers education and testing before someone receives a drivers license, so why no do the same for gun ownership? Use the tax money collected on said purchases to fund that program.

There is just no reasonable argument for the accessibility of such weaponry by the general public.

MY OZ

Oh New York, you sexy bitch!

SIZE QUEENS, NEW YORK

Leave it to the New York Post to get everyone in a tizzy over an important issue.

Apparently, the famous Subway foot-long sandwiches are not quite measuring up, averaging about 11 to 11.5 inches.

The company statement released earlier today said “Our bread is freshly baked daily in each of the over 38,000 Subway restaurants worldwide. We are committed to providing a consistent product delivering the same amount of bread to the customer with every order. The length however may vary slightly when not baked to our exact specifications. We are reinforcing our policies and procedures in an effort to ensure our offerings are always consistent no matter which Subway restaurant you visit.”

Let the Congressional hearings begin.

AD NAUSEOUS

Oh. My. God.

For real, NRA? First of all, to try and thrust the children of President Obama into the gun control argument is so wrong on so many levels. 

The children of both democrat AND republican presidents have always had secret service protection. It doesn't make President Obama an elitist hypocrite. It's a required perk (if you can call it that) that goes with the job, so to politicize it is just so stupid.

Besides, no reasonable person, with or without children, believes that armed guards standing outside every school in the country, as you have suggested should happen, is a good idea at all. Putting more guns out there to fight gun violence does not solve the problem.

You know what would solve the problem? Taking away from the NRA it's 501 (c) (4) tax exempt status. The NRA had an income of over $225 million, according to it's 2010 tax return. If they're raising that much money and trying to influence government and policy, then they can pay their fair share in taxes, which could be used for national firearm education, healthcare to individuals injured by gun violence, mental healthcare, etc.

Okay, maybe it wouldn't solve the problem, but it's a nice start. In fact, it's time to repeal tax-exempt status on all lobbying groups. The NRA can try to say it's an organization that promotes gun safety and education, but really it's nothing more than a bunch of grumpy old white men hell-bent on protection gun and ammunition manufacturers.

THE RAINBOW FLIGHT CONNECTION

It's been a long time since I've used the term, but the news out of San Francisco City Hall this morning has me dusting off a beloved classic.

Board of Stupidvisors member David Campos (Mission District and Bernal Heights) announced plans to ask voters consider changing the name of San Francisco International Airport to Harvey Milk-San Francisco International Airport.

Really? What's the airport code going to be, FAG? GAY?

All kidding aside, I can't thing of something more ridiculous as this plan, and that's saying something after living here for nearly 8 years. Over the last several years, the slain supervisors name has been attached to many sites around town, including the former Douglass Elementary School. It is now called The Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy.

Kind of over-written, don't you think? Wait, it gets better. The Harvey Milk Center for Recreation Arts, located on Duboce Park. Again, WAY over-written.

It seems odd that people feel the insatiable need to memorialize an individual by attaching his or her name to some public monument or building. I also question the costs attached to the name change, should voters approve the measure, which has been listed as anywhere from $50,000 to $250,000.

Way to pick your causes, Mr. Campos. In a city with a high unemployment rate and a very low supply of low and moderate-income housing (two issues you ran on when re-elected), I think you could have done better with your choice of issues.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Here's Lindsay Lohan, the 46-year old former child star, grasping at the last straws of a once promising career.

FOODIE CALL

After an ass-kicking first time Pilates class, I found myself at the historic Beach Chalet, opposite Ocean Beach in San Francisco. Standard American fare, but dammit, it was good!

PHYSICAL EDUCATION

Just before class

As if the full upper body workout, the 2.5 mile run and the 45 minute walk to the studio weren't enough, I also had a one-hour Pilates class - one on one.

HELP WANTED

According to The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success by psychologist Kevin Dutton, the top ten jobs fit for psychopaths are:

Chief Executive Officer
Lawyer
Media (Television/Radio)
Salesperson
Surgeon
Journalist
Police officer
Clergy person
Chef
Civil servant - (gee, what a shock)

Whew. Good to see Uncompensated Bloggers didn't make the list, although I have to admit that I've always thought of myself as more of a fiercely-opinionated yet charming eccentric than a psychopath.

Anyway, for those who are interested in positions with the lowest rate of psychopaths, that list includes:

Care aide
Nurse
Therapist
Craftsperson
Beautician or stylist

Charity worker
Teacher
Creative artist
Doctor
Accountant

GIRL CRUSH

Oh, Emma Stone, this is the kind of shit that makes me love you so.

IMITATION OF LIFE

All In The Family (1972)

Wayne La Pierre (2012)

I will never again say life doesn't imitate art.

66 DAYS AGO

There is nothing I like more than when someone steps up to call out the bullshit in any situation that warrants it. You know, like House Republicans deciding to heed the call of douchey organizations like Americans for Prosperity, Club For Growth, and Heritage Action, all conservative groups that lobbied Republicans into voting against hurricane relief.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, you are my new political idol. Seriously, folks. Watch the entire video, he absolutely nails "the House majority."

HOUSE BEAUTIFUL

Today marks the last day the beloved Exploratorium will be open for business at its home for the last 43 years, the Palace of Fine Arts.

One of the first hands-on science museums in the US, the new location at Piers 15-17 (pictured above), is set to open sometime in April.

COLD CASH

Turning your back on people who are starving and freezing is not a Republican value.

-- Congressman Peter King - NY (R), after the House of Representatives refused to hold a vote that would have provided $60 billion in Hurricane Sandy relief.

Actually, Mr. King, the Repugnicans have proven time and again that, in fact, turning their backs on people who are starving and freezing IS a Republican value.

At any rate, Speaker of the House John Boehner has since scheduled a vote.

ART SHOW

A tribute to the long-gone legacy carrier TWA

I am so loving the vintage prints that found their way into my apartment this past weekend.

SHE AND HIM

She was feeling hungry, so leave it to him to suggest what's fast-becoming their favorite haunt, the venerable Luna Park on Valencia Street.

Hot Toddy's and appetizers galore.