VALLEY GIRL

Oh my God, I am so sure, it's the Solid Gold Dancers!

It would be easy to dismiss the classic Valley Girl as a novelty one-hit wonder, but it was written by the great Frank Zappa. He took something that was regional and introduced it to a larger audience.

The English language really hasn't been the same since.

I added it to my iPod not long ago and wondered why I had waited so long to do so, such a great song.

SWIMWEAR

This is me modeling the new swimsuit I purchased a few days back.

All that time I've put in at the gym sure has paid off, hasn't it?

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST

I was willing to give disgraced singer Michelle Shocked the benefit of the doubt after reading about her anti-gay rant during a recent concert performance here in San Francisco. Since I had assumed that she was a lesbian, I thought it was possible that maybe she was just being ironic when she said:

When they stop Prop 8 and force priests at gunpoint to marry gays, it will be the downfall of civilization and Jesus will come back.

Or, maybe she was just having a bad day.

Anyway, after reading about her latest stunt, I think she may just be Bat Shit Crazy!

The singer held a one-person protest outside a Santa Cruz club that canceled a show she was scheduled to perform. While standing in front of two protest signs that read Does Speech Scare You That Much and Gimme Wit, Not Spit, Shocked encouraged onlookers to write a message on her white safety suit, as she strummed on a guitar with her mouth taped shut.

Paging Nurse Ratched.

IT'S THE TIME OF THE SEASON FOR

Gin and Tonics, sweetie, Gin and Tonics. Bombay Sapphire, of course.

SECOND AMENDMENT

The entire country was shocked, and the entire country pledged we would do something about it and that that this time would be different.

Shame on us if we’ve forgotten.

-- President Barack Obama

Too late, Mr. President.

People seem to be alright with letting someone have the capability to shoot over 155 rounds in less than five minutes because, well, you know, the Second Amendment, and all.

I sort of predicted this was how it would play out back on December 23, 2012.

DIG IF YOU WILL THE PICTURE

Old San Francisco Mint

Alone on Mint Plaza

OCD

Here are a couple of shots I took while making my way to the agency today.

THE SUPREMES

If the issue is letting the states experiment and letting the society have more time to figure out its direction, why is taking a case now the answer?

-- Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor

Because the time for marriage equality is LONG OVERDUE.

MY OZ

Oh New York, you sexy bitch!

BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB

I'm not even going to bother with a review.

Just buy the album, it's fucking good.

EQUALITY

ARS GRATIA ARTIS REDUX

Apparently, someone at the fabled Palace Hotel - a very fine establishment where I spent many a night before moving to San Francisco - saw my March 23rd post (see below), when I questioned the removal of its historic Maxfield Parrish The Pied Piper (for which the venerable watering hole is named for). It seems the hotel had a nefarious plan to quietly sell the beloved mural at auction.

Thanks to public outcry (no doubt stirred by my in-depth report), the decision from the executive floor has been reversed, and once restoration of the 103-year old painting is complete, it will again hang at the hotel. However, the hotel now says they may not return it to its original location, claiming they are concerned about possible damage from liquid.

(sigh)

If you've got a historic painting named The Pied Piper, then it should remain on the walls of the bar of the same name, like it has for the last 103 years. Either hang it a little higher than before so it doesn't become damaged again (silly excuse), or hang it behind some non-glare plexi-glass.

Seriously, if you do, I would honestly consider spending all my drinking dollars at your fine saloon. In fact, I'll up the ante, and bring a few friends with me.

TARDY TO THE PARTY: PORTLANDIA

Love.

SHOE WHORE

Wish I may, wish I might, wish I might find these in my closet tonight.

Size 8.5, thank you.

EMPATHY

I wrestled with how to reconcile my Christian faith with my desire for Will to have the same opportunities to pursue happiness and fulfillment as his brother and sister. Ultimately, it came down to the Bible’s overarching themes of love and compassion and my belief that we are all children of God.

-- Senator Rob Portman (R-OH), on his recent change of heart regarding same-sex marriage, which he now supports.

That's nice and all, especially for his son Will, but I'm not quite ready to give Senator Portman a pass just yet and here's why.

For years, he was an outspoken Christian Conservative who not only voted in favor of a Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage back in 2004 but also supported the Christian Coalition's 2010 survey question on banning same-sex marriage.

Now, because he has a gay son, he has empathy for the issue and we're all supposed to applaud his about-face on the issue? Where was this empathy before the issue hit so close to home? Suddenly, Mr. Portman finds it okay to use the Bible's overarching themes of love and compassion and belief that we are all children of God to justify his newly-found beliefs?

Funny how those same themes didn't seem come into play back in the day.

SOLE DESIRE

Oh yeah, me likey a lot!

FROM THE DESK OF . . .

To: Fellow Gym Member

From: Scott

Re: Proper Workout Attire

Dear Fellow Gym Rat:

In the future, should you decide to go commando during your next workout, might I suggest you don a longer pair of shorts? Seriously, that was way too much meat and potatoes for me.

Warmest regards,

Scott

ARS GRATIA ARTIS

So I read earlier this morning on SFGATE that the fabled Palace Hotel - a very fine establishment where I spent many a night before moving to San Francisco - has quietly taken down its famous Maxfield Parrish painting, The Pied Piper, from the walls of its bar, also named The Pied Piper, and announced it will be put up for auction on May 23.

The estimated value of the painting has been said to be between $3 and $5 million dollars.

Holy shit, Batman. Is the hotel that hard up for cash? I mean, their official excuse of It is no longer practical for the hotel to display, an original work of this value and cultural significance, in a public area doesn't really fly, since it's been a part of the watering hole for over 100 years, without incident.

How sad. How very sad, indeed.

CONSPIRACY THEORY

So awesome for so many reasons, courtesy of fellow Liberty Five member and Facebook friend, Mary Jane.

May The Farce Be With You.

DIG IF YOU WILL THE PICTURE

Just a couple of pre-interview shots I took along Sutter Street yesterday afternoon.

ROUGH LOVER

During a recent NPR podcast, I was introduced to an early release from the future Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, and it's a dandy little ditty entitled Rough Lover.

The song, however, was not a big hit when it was first released back in 1961. Sort of understandable, considering how bawdy it is. I mean, I can only imagine how people might have felt hearing a woman growling on the radio about how she wants a rough lover.

I think that's why I love it so much.

Well, that, and the fact that Aretha is singing the hell out of it!

NIGHT FEVER

Okay, I have to admit it hurt a little bit when I read that 35 years ago this week, the number one song in the country was Night Fever, by the Bee Gees.

Actually, it hurt quite a bit, since I clearly remember when this disco classic was in regular rotation. From one of my favorite movies of all time, Saturday Night Fever, Night Fever remained in the number one spot for 8 weeks.

CRUZ CONTROL

I'm sure this isn't the finger Dianne wanted
to give Ted Cruz.

I’m not a sixth grader. Senator, I’ve been on the committee for 20 years. I was a mayor for nine years. I walked in, I saw people shot, I’ve looked at bodies that have been shot with these weapons, I’ve seen the bullets that implode. And Sandy Hook youngsters were dismembered… I’m not a lawyer, but after 20 years, I’ve been up close and personal with the Constitution. I have great respect for it.

You know, it’s fine, you want to lecture me on the Constitution. I appreciate it, but just know I’ve been here for a long time. I’ve passed a number of bills. I’ve studied the Constitution myself. I am reasonably well-educated and I thank you for the lecture.

-- Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), responding to Ted Cruz (R-TX) during a rather contentious debate regarding gun control yesterday afternoon.

Give 'em hell, Dianne.

BOOKWORM

She liked to take my problems back to the source, which was usually me. Like, for instance, when I got food poisoning it wasn't the chef's fault. 'You're the one who wanted to Oriental. You're the one who ordered lomain.

Lo Mein. It's two words.

Oh, he speaks Chinese now! Tell me, Charlie Chan, what's the word for six straight hours of vomiting and diarrhea?

-- David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - Little, Brown, & Company, 2004

I'm totally loving this book, so hilarious.

FRANCIS THE TALKING MULE

At stake is the identity and survival of the family: father, mother and children. At stake are the lives of many children who will be discriminated against in advance, and deprived of their human development given by a father and a mother and willed by God. At stake is the total rejection of God’s law engraved in our hearts.

Let us not be naive: This is not simply a political struggle, but it is an attempt to destroy God’s plan.

-- Pope Francis I (then known as Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio) on same-sex marriage in 2010

There was a lot of talk over the last week about the possibility the Catholic Church could elect a pope who would bring a more streamlined and modern approach to the organization.

Oh well.

LIGHTBULB

We don't need a new idea. The idea's America, and it still works.

-- so called Republican rock star Marco Rubio (R-FL), to CPAC attendees earlier today.

Actually, Marco, you do. Your team's lack of ideas or even reasonable alternatives to ideas already out there is why republicans lost so big during the previous election.

Just a suggestion, but perhaps you guys should drop a few bucks and buy yourself a new playbook.

SOLE DESIRE

Oh. My. God.

Lacoste makes socks?

Yes, please.

GIFT REGISTRY

For those in a gifting mood, here's a suggestion.

Thank you.

IDENTITY THEFT

My long-lost supermodel twin brother?

Once again, I was distressed to find someone making a dollar and a buck on my likeness, while I sit at home eating store-brand pork & beans and gov'ment cheese.

Seriously, I'm wondering if I need to sit my parents down and ask if there was a twin that was given up at birth.

MY OZ

Oh New York, you sexy bitch!

What I wouldn't give to have woken up to this view.

LA BALLON ROUGE

It was my first art film.

The Oscar-winning The Red Balloon, a movie that still moves me so.

GREAT WHITE HYPE

Is it me, or does the new Justin Timberlake release, New Suit, sound awfully similar to the largely ignored 2009 release of Magic, by Robin Thicke?

Although Thicke's video kinda sucks (okay, it totally blows chunks), Magic is a much, MUCH, better song.

PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK

Here I am trying on my new pinstripes. All that time
at the gym sure has paid off, huh?

Only 23 days left until opening day for the New York Yankees. The Bronx Bombers are scheduled to face their arch rivals, the Boston Red Sox.

GO YANKEES!

UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE

(The) worst thing I witnessed was 'Iron Man' killing my career . . . or trying to. They tried to.

-- Terrence Howard

Not only does he co-star in Dead Man Down, which opens today, but Mr. Howard has 10 other projects scheduled to be seen later this year. 

Gee, I guess it really is hard out there for a pimp.

Dick.

BRUSH AND FLOSS

I wonder if four out of five dentists would recommend this fine product?

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY . . .

I'm not at all ashamed to admit my love for the 1989 classic When Harry Met Sally . . . , although I have to say it hurt just a bit when I realized it has been nearly 25 years since it was first released.

Actually, it hurt quite a bit.

Anyway, after a viewing this past weekend, I was amused at just how many of the one-liners I use in my everyday life come from this film, dandy little diddies like:

Don't fuck with Mr. Zero
White man's overbite - (as well as the face Meg Ryan makes when hears this)

Yeah, well, um, well, yeah

Transitional guy

I just want it the way that I want it

Ted Kennedy was shot?

Okay, you're probably thinking that maybe I need help, and maybe I do, but I don't care. The movie still rocks!

SHOE WHORE

For those who find themselves in a gifting kind of mood today, size 8.5 works for me.

Thank you.

MY OZ

Oh New York, you sexy bitch!

WALKING ON SUNSHINE

Actually, he's driving on sunshine.

Check out this video with former Secretary of State (Reagan Administration), George Shultz, as he exalts the virtues of solar power and his Nissan Leaf. Schultz, a huge proponent of the Carbon Tax, is scheduled to visit Washington DC this Friday, to tell Congress they really need to address the issue of climate change.

I love it when a Republican actually listens to science (and his conscience), rather than the insane rants of folks who wrongly claim that climate change is just a hoax.

Go on with your bad self, George.

DIG IF YOU THE PICTURE

Just a couple of shots I took while I wandered around town this afternoon.

LATHER, RISE, REPEAT

I. Can't. Get. Enough. Of. This. Fucking. Awesome. Song.

From 2011, may I present to you Frank Ocean's Swim Good.

You're welcome.

FOODIE CALL

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the BLTC (bacon, lettuce, tomato, and cheese) on sourdough from Claire's Delicatessen, on 17th Street.

Seriously, this sandwich was so good that if it were a person, I would have made love to it right there.

BOOKWORM

Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food? 

Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back. 

Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it's free. You don't have to steal it. 

Ratso Rizzo: Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealin'.

-- Midnight Cowboy, United Artist, 1969

My favorite moment from my favorite movie inspired me to bring home two FREE books I found sitting on a table at the local laundromat.

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim and When You Are Engulfed In Flames, both by David Sedaris, are now in the permanent collection

Huzzah, I can't wait to dive in to 'em!

BRIDGEWORK

Only 182 days remain until the new eastern span of the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge officially opens to traffic.

THE TRUMAN SHOW

Okay, this just totally convinced me that my life is, in fact, being scripted by Larry David.

SECTION 5

I don’t think (Congress' renewal of the law is) attributable to the fact that it is so much clearer now that we need this. I think it is attributable, very likely attributable, to a phenomenon that is called perpetuation of racial entitlement.

-- Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, while hearing arguments regarding Section 5 of the Voter Rights Act of 1965, and whether or not it is still needed.

Racial Entitlement? WOW. Those words fell out of the mouth of a member of the United States Supreme Court?

Perhaps Justice Scalia should trade in the black robe he wears on the bench for a white one (and the matching hood), instead.

ALLIED FORCES

It's gonna happen, whether you like it or not.

-- Former San Francisco Mayor, Gavin Newsom, on same-sex marriage

To the surprise of many, some high-ranking Republicans have begun to come out of the closet, so to speak, regarding their support of same-sex marriage.

Makes total sense to me because if you're a true Republican who really does believe in keeping government out of peoples private lives, then of course you would support same-sex marriage.

What I think is especially shocking to some is that Clint Eastwood, of all people, has become quite vocal in his support of the issue. However, it's no surprise to my more regular readers, because back on November 2, 2011, I posted his quote regarding the issue and in true Dirty Harry-style, his explanation was quite succinct and to the point.

Go on with your bad-ass self, Clint.