CHANGE OF ADDRESS

Oh, sweetheart, if you're referring to The White House, the correct address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Proof again that beauty fades, stupid lasts forever.

BRIDGEWORK

Western portion of the Oakland-San Francisco
Bay Bridge

So CalTrans announced yesterday that more water has been found in the anchor tower-area of the newly-built eastern span of the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge, increasing the possibility of corrosion. Officials say the water has been drained but also added there is no room to maneuver replacement rods into place, should the exposed rods show signs of corrosion.

Opening 10 years late and coming in $5 billion dollars over-budget, it really looks like we didn't get a whole lot of bang for our buck, huh?

I just hope I'm not on that bridge when it falls into the bay.

SAINT JETER

It was a dramatic ending worthy of a New York Yankee.

Bottom of the ninth inning with the score tied, team captain Derek Jeter comes up to bat for the final time at Yankee Stadium (there are three more road games to be played). The ball is pitched, Jeter swings and he delivers a walk-off hit that brings in the winning win, giving The Bronx Bombers the win over the Baltimore Orioles, 5-6.

Ruth. Gehrig, DiMaggio. Mantle. Jackson. Munson. Mattingly. Jeter.

Someone call The Vatican, STAT! I've got my nomination for the next saint.

BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM

I'm beginning to believe when Steve Jobs died, he took the company with him.

So over the last few days, it's been discovered that not only are the new iPhone 6 and 6 Plus easily bendable, much to the chagrin of users, but that the iOS 8 update was a big fat failure. In a rare move, Apple pulled said update after folks complained they weren't able make calls. The update also disabled the new fingerprint-sensor security feature, preventing users from even accessing their own phones. All this on top of a hoax ad that falsely informed users they could charge their phones by placing them into a microwave oven (see BRAIN WAVES post below)

The BlackBerry is looking pretty good today, huh kids?

Keep drinking the Kool-Aid, keep drinking the Kool-Aid.

FOLLOW

As I posted a few days ago, I've been having a hard time picking out a favorite song on the 2012 debut release Oshin, from Brooklyn-based Diiv, because the whole album is so damn good.

However, if I was forced to call one out, Follow would be pretty high on the list.

BRAIN WAVES

Stories like this have me dusting off an old phrase I used to say back in the day:

No brain, no pain.

It seems some iPhone users have been duped into believing a fake ad claiming you can charge your iPhone by placing it into a microwave oven, by way of an app that automatically uploads to your phone during a iOS8 update.

Oh man, I wish I could take credit for this hoax.

HIT PARADE

It may have dropped in 2012, but Oshin, from the Brooklyn-based group DIIV is new to me, so here goes.

 

I am so in love with this release right now and am having a hard time picking out a favorite because they're all so damn good!

 

I'll get back to you shortly.

TRIBUTE

Her monologue here is slightly risque and maybe even a bit obnoxious, yet she's absolutely on the mark and wickedly brilliant. She is, how we say in the business "killing it!

This is Joan Rivers at her very best!

You did good, Joan. Very good, indeed.

BOOKWORM

"One time, my hitchhiking date was Patricia Hearst. As we walked toward Route 6 from Provincetown, we quickly go a ride, but I don't think the driver recognized me until we got in, me in the front, her in the back. He kept doing double takes looking over at me and finally said, "Are you John Waters?" and I said, yes and at the same time he looked in the rearview mirror, I said "And that's Patty Hearst." He looked totally shocked but I could tell he realized it was her. "He made me do it," Patty deadpanned, and I was so proud of her improvisational skills. We were now a hitchhiking comedy duo."

"Later, her husband, Bernie, whom I love but realize is the head of security for Hearst Corporation, was a little perturbed when she told him of our day's adventure. "Oh, come on, John," he said with impatience, "hasn't she had enough trouble?!"

I guess he was right.

-- John Water, Carsick: John Waters Hitchhikes Across America

I'm only on page 9 and I've laughed out loud several times already. I wouldn't expect any less from one of my favorite people.

CITY LIGHTS

I'll try to be as brief as possible.

The Tramp (Charlie Chaplin) meets a homeless blind woman selling flowers on the street and is immediately taken by her beauty. When he realizes that she cannot see, he decides to do whatever he can to raise enough money (which he does) for the surgery she needs to restore her sight (which she gets).

High-jinx ensue.

Although this clip is four minutes long, I guarantee the payoff at the end is more than worth it. The final scene is, without a doubt, the finest and most powerful moment ever captured on film and I am secure enough in my masculinity to admit that I'm a blubbering mess the minute she touches his hand and realizes who this hobo really is.

Yes, City Lights is a silent film but that's okay, because sometimes words just get in the way.

THE RED BALLOON

It was my first art film.

First seen in elementary school (probably first grade), there aren't many films that move me more than this Oscar-winning classic. It took the award for Best Screenplay (1956), which is kinda funny since there is virtually no dialog.

But that's okay, sometimes words just get in the way.

J'adore ce film tellement!