FER SURE

Colleen Camp, Deborah Foreman, and Michael Bowen

The movie Valley Girl was on television a few days back, so of course I sat my fat-ass down and watched.

It's still a great movie with an awesome soundtrack which, by the way, I still have on vinyl. However, when Michael Bowen (Kill Bill, Vol. 1 - 'my name is Buck and I like to fuck') shows up in a powder pink-colored tux, I was struck with the realization that perhaps not everything from the 1980's was that good.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ABBOTTABAD

So the US is awaiting for permission from Pakistan to question the three widows of recently assassinated terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden. It is believed the women, who were in the house when the NavySEALS came in to take care of some unfinished business, may have valuable information about who was helping him as he hid, and may even show that Pakistani officials knew of his location but said nothing.

Little is know about the women, although if you're really that interested, some information about the three widows can be found in the amusingly titled Growing Up Bin Laden, a 2009 memoir by Osama's son Omar Bin Laden and his mother, the terrorist's first wife, Najwa, who left her husband two days before the attacks of September 11, 2001.

Growing Up Bin Laden? WTF!

Seriously, kids, it's fucking for real, and it's currently available on Amazon.com.

END DAYS UPDATE

Another confirmation of the fast-approaching End Days.

Submitted for your approval, a San Francisco cyclist WALKING his bike on the sidewalk, not riding it and yelling at a pedestrian to "Lookout" as passes, which is is usually the case.

MY OZ - THE JET AGE

The TWA Flight Center, as it appeared when first opened in 1962 at New York International Airport. The Airport was renamed John F. Kennedy International Airport in 1964 and the terminal, designed by famed architect Eero Saarinen, was recently restored and now serves as the JetBlue Terminal.

Beautiful.

EAT SHIT AND DIE

IHOP announced today that it is entering the frozen breakfast food business.

Marketed under the name IHOP At Home, the line is said to include such savory treats as French Toast Stuffed Pastries, Omelet Crispers (bacon, sausage, or cheese), and last but not least, Griddle 'n Sausage Wraps (breakfast sausage stuffed inside "maple syrup-tinged pancake batter").

The microwave breakfast "food" can be found at Wal-Mart in their frozen Eat Shit and Die aisle.

WE WANT YOU AS THE NEW RECRUIT

Several news organizations including CNN and Mother Jones Magazine (thanks mary jane) are now reporting that the United States Navy is going to allow gay marriages to be performed on base by its chaplains.

"Consistent with the tenets of his or her religious organization, a chaplain may officiate a same-sex, civil marriage: if it is conducted in accordance with a state that permits same-sex marriage or union; and if that chaplain is, according to the applicable state and local laws, otherwise fully certified to officiate that state’s marriages...if the base is located in a state where same-sex marriage is legal, then base facilities may normally be used to celebrate the marriage. This is true for purely religious services (e.g., a chaplain blessing a union) or a traditional wedding (e.g., a chaplain both blessing and conducting the ceremony)."

Naval chaplains who theologically oppose gay marriage are not obliged to perform the ceremony, which will only be allowed in states where gay marriage is allowed by law. The Navy will also not be extending health and other marital benefits to married same-sex partners.

I'm not sure what the point is if they're not extending benefits (especially since the government does extend benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees), but it once again shows to how gay marriages are still not on equal ground as straight marriages.

Still, this a very interesting turn of events.

REBEL WITH A CAUSE

I'm not sure how reliable The National Enquirer is as a source of hard news. Once known for alien baby stories, salacious celebrity gossip and paparazzi photos, the supermarket tabloid over the last few years has been used by the New York Times more than once  as a source for some of it's stories. They were also nominated for two Pulitzer Prizes last year (for Investigative Reporting and National News Reporting) for their John Edwards Love Child news coverage.

Well, if they're good enough for the Pulitzer, then they're good enough for the Poop, so here goes.

The National Enquirer reported a few weeks back that partially brain-dead tea-bagger pin-up Sarah Palin and her teen-mom daughter and Dancing With The Stars finalist Bristol Palin are said to be feuding over Bristol's changing opinion on Gay Marriage and her plans to publically support it.

“Bristol is completely rebelling against her mother — now that she’s experiencing life outside of Alaska and away from Sarah. She has opened her eyes and realized how sheltered and programmed she was,” a source told the Enquirer.

“When Bristol told Sarah that she is thinking of supporting gay marriage and doesn’t believe religion should have anything to do with equal rights for all, Sarah began fuming. [Sarah] told [Bristol] she better never go public with that thought, fearing it would hurt her political career,” the source claims. “Bristol told her mother that she’s a grown woman who makes her own living and is free to believe what she wants. If Sarah doesn’t accept her, she isn’t welcome in her home.”

Wow, you gotta love those "sources," don't 'cha?

THE BIGGEST MOTHER OF THEM ALL

Joan Crawford with her children
Christina, Christopher (dammit), Cindy, and Cathy

Happy Mother's Day from the staff of The Steaming Poop blog.

MY OZ

The long-gone Third Avenue El in Manhattan.

EAT SHIT AND DIE

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo (yeah, I know it was yesterday), IHOP unveiled their latest menu item that I'm sure will stop the war on obesity dead in it's tracks.

For a limited time only, they will add to your scrambled eggs the following: bacon, enchilada sauce, melted jack and cheddar cheeses, chopped green onions, and sour cream.

Topped off with a serving of soft tortilla chips, they call it the Tortilla Scramble, but I think it should have just been called the Eat Shit and Die Scramble.