OPENING ACT

Being the opening act for a headliner is more often than not a thankless job. I've often sat through shows where the entire performance was booed by the audience. Maybe sometime I'll tell you the story two-time Tony Award-winning actor Nathan Lane once shared with me about his experience as the opening act for country singer Eddie Rabbit at the Phoenix Theater in Petaluma back in 1983.

Let's just say that when he finished sharing his sad tale, I immediately apologized on behalf of an audience filled some assholes that I'm sure I actually knew. I know what you're thinking because I thought the same thing: Eddie Rabbit's opening act was Nathan Lane?

Talk about a totally random pairing, huh?

Anyway, I'm posting about it today because I caught the first of Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings three sold-out shows at The Fillmore Auditorium last Thursday evening and let's just say Valerie Jones' experience as an opening act couldn't have been more different than Mr. Lane's. I found her mix of bluegrass, funk, R&B and rock to be absolutely brilliant.

Seriously, she had the audience in her hands.

Although there isn't an official video for her song Wanna Be On Your Mind, I still invite you to sit a spell and enjoy my personal favorite from her 2013 debut album Pushing Against A Stone.

THE 80'S

I have to admit that it hurt just a little bit when I saw on the news earlier that 35 years ago today, the first Sony Walkman appeared on store shelves.

Actually, it hurt quite a bit because I owned several of them throughout the greatest decade of the 20th century. I purchased my first one in 1983, along with two Pat Benatar cassettes, Live From Earth, and Get Nervous. For some strange reason, even though I had already made my purchase, I asked my mom from the backseat of our car if I could buy one. She said no and when I asked why, she replied "Because I said so." 

I rolled my eyes and as she drove, I quietly opened the packaging of my now contraband music player, installed the batteries, inserted the cassette into the player and hit the fast forward button to Love Is A Battlefield.

Such a rebel, huh?

LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the music video from the first song I ever heard on a Walkman, Pat Benatar's Love Is A Battlefield.

You're welcome.

THE HANGOVER

We laughed, we cried, we kissed four hours goodbye - okay, maybe three and a half. Anyway, here is how I saw the show last night, which I have to admit, was pretty good.

The "Selfie" heard 'round the world.

Pharrell Williams Happy, from the animated film Despicable Me 2, didn't win the award for Best Original Song, but maybe it should have. I downloaded it during the telecast and it's my new favorite song.

“ . . . And I have to say one of the most amazing Liza Minnelli impersonators I have seen in my entire life. Just really, seriously, good job, sir.” Liza is clearly annoyed with the joke but her sister, Lorna Luft (left) looks like she almost peed in her dress from laughing so hard. Best joke of the night.

The Oscars chose to mark the 75th anniversary of the 1939 classic film The Wizard of Oz and Pink did a damn good job with her rendition of Over The Rainbow, but I'm confused about why this particular film was singled out. 1939 is generally considered to be the year Hollywood turned out its finest films (Gone With The Wind; Gunga Din; Stage Coach; Mr. Smith Goes To Washington; Goodbye, Mr. Chips; etc), and a tribute to that entire year would probably had been more appropriate.

HORSE RACE

"In a horse race like the Oscars, bloodlines count, and Liza's got the bloodlines."

-- Rock Hudson before announcing Liza Minnelli as winner of the Best Actress in a Leading Role at the 1972 Oscar ceremony.

Hudson's cringe-inducing banter was in reference to that years so-called Horse Race between Best Actress nominees Liza Minnelli for Caberet and Diana Ross for Lady Sings The Blues. For whatever reason, the Best Actress category is often referred to as a Horse Race. It is rather offensive if you think about it, but so be it.

My personal favorite Horse Race for Best Actress is the one that took place in 1950. The list for that year was particularly good:

Bette Davis for All About Eve

Anne Baxter for All About Eve

Gloria Swanson for Sunset Boulevard

Judy Holliday for Born Yesterday

Eleanor Parker for Caged

This is a pretty amazing list of actresses to choose from but in my humble opinion, the only Horse Race that year was between Judy Holiday and Gloria Swanson, and here's why: 

Eleanor Parker never stood a chance. Caged is a campy romp about women in prison. Although it's pretty laughable today, the film was also nominated for Best Picture and Best Supporting Actress (Hope Emerson).

Go figure.

All About Eve is probably one of the best written film scripts ever! Bette Davis desperately wanted to be the first actress to win three Oscars for Best Actress and felt that Anne Baxter should have been submitted in the Best Supporting Actress category. Anne Baxter disagreed, correctly reminding everyone that she was the title character, although with the appearance of both actresses in the same category, they sort of canceled each other out.

Gloria Swanson's appearance in Sunset Boulevard was a major comeback. A superstar from the silent era, Swanson hadn't been seen on the big screen in years, and anyone who has seen Sunset Boulevard would agree that her mesmerizing performance is absolutely Oscar-worthy.

Last up, Judy Holliday for Born Yesterday. To win an award, you only need a minimum of 21% of the vote and I really think that's how Holliday was able to take home the Oscar for Best Actress.

Although she was openly disappointed she didn't win, Davis was quoted as saying "Oh good, a new comer" when Holliday was announced the winner. When Baxter later said that maybe she should have agreed to have been submitted for the Best Supporting Actress category, Davis is reported to have replied:

"Yes, you should have."

TRIBUTE

Best military recruitment film ever!

Best college film ever!

Best golfing film ever!

Best family vacation film ever!

And they were all written and/or directed by Harold Ramis, who sometimes acted in them, too. Ramis passed away today at the age of 69.

So long, Harold. You did real good.

48TH STATE

"I think anybody that owns a business can choose who they work with or who they don't work with...That's America. That's freedom."

-- Arizona Governor Jan Brewer

Actually Jan, that's not America, that's discrimination.

With a 33-27 vote, the Arizona legislature passed Senate Bill 1062, which re-defines and expands the state's definition of "exercise of religion" and "state action" to protect businesses, corporations and people from lawsuits after denying services based on a sincere religious belief and has been targeted at gays and lesbians.

Hmm, so they're using a "sincere religious belief" as a weapon of state-sponsored discrimination, huh?

My, how Christian.

This is going to be an easy boycott.

NEVERMIND

So Aberdeen, Wa., the hometown of the late singer Kurt Cobain, unveiled a statue of their native son that has some folks scratching their heads.

Yeah, I'm sort of scratching my head, too.

Not only does it appear to be shedding a single tear (sigh), but the statue also seems to resemble the lead singer of the Canadian rock group Nickelback more than it does Cobain.

Ouch.

THE BOOB TUBE

I suppose this posting could have been better timed since The Tonight Show torch was recently passed on to Jimmy Fallon, but so be it.

Back in the early 90's -- when he was funny -- Ben Stiller had a sketch comedy show on FOX that was damn funny. Created by Stiller and Judd Apatow, The Ben Stiller Show lasted just 13 episodes before it unceremoniously canceled.

This particular sketch was aired just as the ugliness over who was going to replace Johnny Carson as host of the venerable late-night show was in full swing. Jeanne Garafalo's imitation of how Sinead O'Connor's audition might have gone had she actually auditioned is beyond hilarious -- and spot on.

STRANGER IN PARADISE

The following is from the February 18 edition of the New York Times' Metropolitan Diary:

Dear Diary:

After hours of pecking away at her laptop and conversing on her cellphone, the attractive woman at an Upper East Side Starbucks was packing up at closing time.

As we braced for the late January freeze, she told me she was in a jam: She had left her wallet, cash, ID, credit cards and key to her boyfriend’s flat at her home in Boston, and was weak with hunger.

I invited her for a late sandwich in a diner. She shared her story: Drama major, aspiring screenwriter. She was in New York to discuss a screenplay and to try to make her roller-coaster relationship with her boyfriend work. In Boston, she was in rehearsal for a Tennessee Williams play.

Soon enough, I was passing ten $20 bills across the table, along with my address. She thanked me profusely and assured me that the loan would be repaid. I had my doubts.

At 7 the next morning, she called. She was again at the local Starbucks and wanted to repay the loan.

I joined her. “I was glad to be helpful,” I said. “I guess things worked out with your boyfriend.”

“Not really,” she replied. “We actually broke up yesterday afternoon, but before I left him, I locked up my wallet, cash and credit cards at his apartment so that I could do that exercise last night.”

“What exercise was that?” I asked.

“Oh, the one in which I was trying to understand what it was like to be Blanche DuBois and rely on the kindness of strangers.”

This would only happen in New York City.

Oh man, I love that town!