THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY

Dorothy, look at me. I have turned back the hands of time.

-- Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls

You know you've sort of jumped the shark when you're able to apply dialogue from The Golden Girls to real life. I suppose I could do worse, that show is fucking awesome!

Anyway, I'm gonna let myself bask in this 30-inch waist glow because at midnight, I turn back into a pumpkin.