BRUSH UP YOUR SHAKESPEARE

What, Billy didn't write "Oh no you di'int??

ISN'T IT ROMANTIC

No, not you . . .

. . . you.

WORD GAMES

Try it out, it's kind of fun.

FROM THE DESK OF . . .

To:     Fellow gym member
From: Me
Re:     Your odor

Dear Sir -

I don't expect anyone to follow my protocol when it comes to working out and body odor, as I shower before AND after the gym. I also wear deodorant.

However, I nearly asphyxiated on the fumes brought on by your horrible brand of stink when you passed by me earlier this morning. Seriously, you smelled like an old lady fart after it passed through a raw onion.

I know you're not goint to follow my lead, as far as cleanliness is concerned, but really, how about you try to NOT exercise in the clothes you've slept in . . .

. . . for the last three weeks.

Thank you.

Warmest regards,

Scott

GIRL CRUSH

Stop it, Mila, just stop it, right now! You're killing me, here.

Love.

BROMANCE/MY OZ SMASH-UP

Mr. Newman in the East Village (Astor Place IRT subway station)

My two favourite things - Paul Newman and New York City.

You've got your chocolate in my peanut butter.

FOODIE CALL

My waistline says NO, but my stomach and taste buds scream for MORE, MORE, MORE!

I love and respect a good burger, and SF Chronicle food critic Michael Bauer just posted his top five favourites. Oh brother, this ain't gonna be pretty but I can't wait to get out and try 'em all on for size.

Who's in?

CRYSTAL BALL

Oh boy, this is a telling sign about next years election

The house seat left vacant by Anthony "The Dick" Wiener (D-Queens), was filled with a Republican, Bob Turner, yesterday.

This is the first time since the 1920's that a Republican was elected to represent this district.

I'ma scared, folks, I'ma scared.

HAVING CHURCH

I certainly hope so.

PUMPKIN, PUMPKIN . . . YOU'RE DATING AN ASSHOLE

I love American Psycho.