AULD LANG SYNE

A very good champagne from a very good year

Times Square New Years Eve 1946

Happy New Year from the staff of The Steaming Poop blog.

SOLE DESIRE

Oh yeah, me likey a lot.

MINI BAR

So how do you like the water cooler we recently had installed here at the offices of The Steaming Poop blog?

It's cut down on absenteeism by 100%.

AU REVOIR

So long, 2011.

Let's not say we'll keep in touch, shall we?

BLOW OUT THE CANDLES

Happy 75th birthday, Mary.

PICTURE THIS

I caught this dramatic sunrise, yesterday morning.

Very nice.

DANCE ON AIR

So I caught the MGM classic Singin' in the Rain at the Castro Theatre, last night. It's not the first time I had seen the film, but it was the first time I had seen it on the big screen, the way it was meant to be seen.

Singin' in the Rain is often referred to as the best American musical ever made. I'd be willing to argue the pros and cons of that statement, maybe on a later post. Anyway, I found myself watching the footwork of Gene Kelly, something you don't really notice when watching it on DVD. To call it mesmerising would be an understatement. The effortlessly athletic style to his movement has often been called out in the past, and for reason. He is so good at what he did, that he even had me thinking to myself "hey, I could do that."

Yeah, not without breaking a hip.

LEGGO MY EGGO

Regarding the Massachusetts law requiring it's citizens carry health insurance, which was signed into law by then-governor Mitt Romney, fellow Republican candidate for President Newt Gingrich said in 2006:

"(it has) tremendous potential to effect major change in the American health system . . . We agree entirely with Governor Romney and Massachusetts legislators that our goal should be 100% insurance coverage for all Americans"

That's funny, because during a debate back in October, Newt said to Romney:

"Your plan is essentially one more big-government, bureaucratic, high-cost system."

Would you like butter and syrup with your waffle, Mr. Gingrich?

DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO SAN JOSE?

Christmas is set to return in February, if you're an Oakland A's fan who lives in San Jose.

Rumor has it that the worst team with the worst attendance in major league baseball will finally be given permission to leave the their rundown and tired home at Oakland Coliseum for a shiny new stadium in The Capital of Silicon Valley.

I'm not sure why, but the San Francisco Giants, who have been fighting the move for years, have said they will continue to work to block the move. At any rate, if it all goes according to plan, the San Jose A's could to be ready to play ball in their new home by 2014 or 2015.

With the recent announcement that the Golden State Warriors were looking to build a new arena near AT&T Park in San Francisco and the Oakland Raiders considering a return to Los Angeles (boring), I'm wondering if Jean Quan (Oakland's beleaguered mayor) is beginning to second guess her decision to run for that office.

I mean, would you really want your political legacy to be the mayor that lost THREE major league sports franchises?

BUS 1

I'm not sure why, but every time I hear this song, I immediately go back to the first time I heard it on the radio.

It was on the morning bus ride to school. A woman named Alice was our driver and she was pretty cool. Even though it was 1980, she was still rocking the bouffant look. Anyway, we were driving up the hill on King Road towards Pepper Road. As the song played, I remember looking out the window next to me and thinking to myself, "Wow, this is a really good song."

It's still one of my all-time favorites.

A true rock classic that reached number 14 on the Billboard chart (which really surprises me), here is Brass in Pocket, by The Pretenders.

THE JOY OF COOKING

My favorite room in any home.

THREE BRANCHES

Saying he's fed up with "elitist judges" who are seeking to impose their "radically un-American" views on the rest of us, presidential candidate Newt "Skidmark" Gingrich, said last week that if elected, he plans to ignore Supreme Court decisions he disagrees with, would support having U.S. Marshals bring judges before Congress to explain themselves, and that he'd even consider abolishing courts if he didn't like their rulings.

What. The. Fuck?

I'm not sure if he thinks he's running for President or King of America, but that's not how it really works.

My high school civics teacher Mrs. Stonitsch would roll over in her grave if I didn't offer to step up and give Mr. Gingrich a little refresher course on how government is supposed to work, so here goes.

(chalk to blackboard)

Mr. Gingrich, there are three branches of government: Executive, Legislative, and Judicial. Each of these branches was created (from an ancient Greek model of government) with separate and independent responsibilities so that no one single branch would have more power than the other.

It's all about the checks and balances, Mr. Gingrich.

You would think that someone who calls himself a historian, as Mr. Gingrich does, would know something like that.

What a dick, and a fascist one at that.

A WARHOL CHRISTMAS

Here are a couple of shots of the niece and nephew using the Andy Pop photo choice within the Paper Camera App on my DroidPro.

Pretty cool, huh?

IT'S A WRAP

Strike the set, until next year.

AND SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS

"He Sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

and away they all flew like the down of a thistle,

but I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

-- Clement Clarke Moore, T'was the night before Christmas

Happy Christmas to all from the staff of The Steaming Poop blog.

WHITE CHRISTMAS / ZIGGY STARDUST SMASH-UP

From his Christmas special first broadcast in 1977, here is crooner Bing Crosby and David Bowie in a classic (and damn good) duet of "The Little Drummer Boy / Peace on Earth."

Enjoy, and happy holidays from the staff of The Steaming Poop blog.

ZOOM-ZOOM

The 2012 Aston-Martin Rapide.

Nothing would make me happier right now, then to be walking downstairs and seeing this fine piece of machinery parked out front with a big red bow on top and a tag saying it's for me.

In fact, I'm all boned-up right now just thinking about it.

HEAVY ROTATION

Common - The Dreamer / The Believer

Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings - Soul Time!

These two awesome albums are currently getting some heavy airplay at home.

SOLE DESIRE

I am so loving these right now.

HAWKEYE DEBATE

I know the picture has nothing to do with this post,
but I always loved this NY Daily News cover from 1995

A lot has been said in the press about the recent exchange between an associate college professor and Republican presidential candidate (and douche bag) Newt Gingrich.

Honestly, it seems like a non-news item, to me.

When asked by Scott Arnold, an associate professor at William Penn University, about if elected, how Gingrich would "engage gay Americans," and "how were we to support him," the two had a brief back and forth, when eventually, Newt calmly replied "then you should be for Obama."

Gingrich is well-known to not be an avid supporter of gay rights. He is on record as not only supporting a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, but has also referred to it as "a temporary aberration that will dissipate."

Actually, Mr. Gingrich, you're the temporary aberration that will SOON dissipate.

Anyway, with that kind of rhetoric and background, I'm not sure Mr. Arnold could have expected any other answer than the one he received. In fact, I almost feel like it was a set up on Mr. Arnold's behalf that didn't quite go as planned.

Check out the video and see for yourself.

PANTY RAID

Before you say anything, let me just say shut up right now, because I already know what you're thinking.

In my defense, let me just say that they were on sale, and I bought them online (I could NEVER walk up to a counter and pay for these with my head held high).

Anyway, I tried them on when they arrived yesterday, and I ended up looking more like a pear with a rubberband around the bottom than the model on the box.

I hate my life.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

According to the Mayans, the end of the world is to happen one year from today, December 21, 2012.

SFGate has an article on the subject that amused me to no end. Of course, Mexican officials are using the doomsday prediction as a marketing tool to draw tourists, with the expectation that 52 million people will visit the Mayan region.

My favourite part of the article is the second paragraph, which said:

While some doomsday theorists may suggest putting together survival kits, people in southeastern Mexico, the heart of Maya territory, plan to throw a yearlong celebration. And to make a profit while they party.

I don't want to be a killjoy or anything, but if the world is coming to an end, why would you need profit OR a survival kit?

BOOKWORM

"Our nurse told my brother and me that we were about to be taken for a lovely walk. I began as usual to deploy delaying tactics such as keeping my arms as rigid as a semaphore signaler's while she tried to put my coat on."

-- Quentin Crisp, from my personally autographed copy of the classic The Naked Civil Servant

WE ALL SCREAM FOR

Straus Family Creamery, located in Petaluma, makes THE BEST Caramel Toffee Crunch ice cream I have ever had in my entire life!

The remarkable restraint I showed by not devouring the entire pint in one sitting needs to be rewarded, somehow.

RERUN

As some of you may know, I recently "cut the cord," and dropped DirecTV. I have been slowly navigating my way through a much smaller choice of programming.

I recently saw a commercial for the new mid-season show Work It, on ABC. It appears this show is about two guys who decide to live as women, at least for the purposes of employment. Hmm, this sounds suspiciously like another show that was once broadcast on ABC, Bosom Buddies.

Wow, I gave up satellite for this?

Perhaps the time for me to start pitching the shows I have written (PermaTemp, Juris Interuptus, Worst to First, and Food Porn) has arrived.

TRIBUTE

The late Kim Jong Il - Son, father, brutal dictator, song and dance man.

You will NOT be missed.

FROM THE DESK OF . . .

To: The Programming Director for MeTV
Re: Programming confusion

Dear Sir or Madam:

I recently became aware of your "network," which seem to be a sort of "Nick At Nite" for the cable-less/satellite-free set. This works for me, as I'm a fan of some of your programming choices. 

However, there is a problem that I feel needs to be pointed out.

Your programming guide CLEARLY states that you broadcast I Love Lucy. During the few times I happened to be watching, I noticed that it wasn't I Love Lucy you were showing, it was The Lucy Show.

I'm not sure if you're aware, but there is a HUGE difference between the two, and here they are:

I Love Lucy is in black and white.

The Lucy Show is not (at least the episodes you were showing).

I Love Lucy is considered to be one of the best sitcoms in the history of television.

The Lucy Show is not.

I Love Lucy is a very funny show.

The Lucy Show is not.

Please note the differences and pay a little closer attention to your broadcasts.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Scott

COLDPLAY

It takes a real set of balls to openly admit being a Coldplay fan, which I am.

Their latest album, Mylo Xyloto (released this past October), is very good.

PICTURE THIS

Pigeon Point Lighthouse, December 26, 2009

I know I've posted this lighthouse picture before, but I came across it this morning and thought I'd post it again.

Such a dramatic photo.

THE RED SHOES

The Red Shoes (1948)

A cinematic feast for the eyes, it could be argued that this British classic features some of the finest ballet to have ever been captured on film.

Take that, Black Swan.

THE BIRDS

When I was younger, one of my favorite movies to watch on television was Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. That may have something to do with the fact that it was filmed in the small towns of Bodega and Bodega Bay, about 15 miles from where I lived.

I could never figure out what the story was with the woman who played Mitch's (Rod Taylor) mother. She didn't seem particularly friendly, was a bit aloof, and talked with a funny accent.

"Who cares, they're BURDS."

Gimme a break, I used to think to myself. Who talks like that? You're a chicken farmer from Bodega Bay! 

Not seeing her in any other films gave credence to my belief she wasn't that she wasn't that good of an actress. As I got older, I found out that, in fact, she one of the finest ever, and that her name was Jessica Tandy.

(sigh) So embarrassing.

Now, whenever I see that movie, which I recently saw on the big screen for the first time, I think to myself that maybe she was just too good for this movie. I have to say that on the big screen, The Birds is not a very good film. I found it to be a bit contrived and quite dull.

It almost had me rooting for the BURDS.

BEST OF THE BEST 2011 - AT THE MOVIES

Shame

My Week With Marilyn

Melancholia

The Help

Here are four of the best films I saw over the past year.

DOUBLE FEATURE PICTURE SHOW

Yeah, I'd go see this double-bill in a heartbeat.

FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE

The newest member of accused child rapist (and former Penn State assistant football coach) Jerry Sandusky's defense team seems to be settling into his job very nicely.

During an interview with a local television station, Karl Rominger offered up a very creative AND disturbing explanation for Sandusky taking showers with 10-year old boys:

"Some of these kids don’t have basic hygiene skills . . . Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their bodies."

Okay, so what's the excuse for the raping?

A few hours later, the back-peddling began, when this statement was released to the Associated Press:

“Rominger said in a statement Thursday that he only was giving a hypothetical example of why a person might shower with an adolescent. He noted he never said Sandusky touched boys in a shower.”

Wow.

ZOOM ZOOM

Riding along in my automobile

My baby beside me at the wheel

I stole a kiss at the turn of a mile

my curiosity running wild

cruisin' and playin' the radio

with no particular place to go

-- Chuck Berry

For those out there who are still looking for gift ideas this holiday season, 64 and a half (or even a 65) Ford Mustang would make a lovely Christmas present.

Thank you in advance.

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN

Looks like the economic recovery is FINALLY here . . .

. . . if you're a CEO.

According to the Guardian UK, executive pay among the top ten U.S. earners reached a high of  $770 million, a 30%-40% increase over their 2009 compensation.

Although no big bank CEO's made the cut this year, three of lists top earners come from health care companies, including John Hammergren of McKesson. His total compensation came in at $145,266,910, most of which comes from stock options, placing him at the top of the list.

$145,266,910?

Um . . .

THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO

Really?

If I have to see shit like this, then so do you.

HOLIDAY MOVIE

"I intend to prove Kris Kringle is Santa Claus"

"You'll shoot your eye out"

"Shitter's full"

Just in time for the holidays, here are your three MUST SEE movie choices for Christmas:

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

A Christmas Story (1983)

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

The holiday season doesn't really begin for me until I've seen these three classics.

Enjoy.

SOLE DESIRE

Yes, please, and in size 9.

Thank you.

RICKY RETARDO

He doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning and seems to be more famous for his gaffes than any decent ideas, so I'm not sure why republican voters are still giving candidate Rick Perry the time of day.

While on a campaign stop in Ames, Iowa, Perry criticized the Obama administration for a now infamous $535 million dollar loan deal:

"No greater example of it than this administration sending millions of dollars into the solar industry, and we lost that money. I want to say it was over $500 million that went to the country Solyndra."

Oh, Rick, Solyndra is (or was, I should say) a company, not a country.

I'm not sure how much his campaign staffers are being paid, but once again, it has been made very clear that Mr. Perry is not getting a whole lotta bang for his buck.

FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE

The attorney for disgraced Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky really put his foot in it, yesterday.

During a press conference, Joseph Amendola said that university officials who believe that Sandusky is guilty of raping a 10-year old "should call 1-800-Reality."

In an amusingly ironic twist, it turns out that the phone number he used in his smarmy retort is, in fact, a gay sex phone chat line, something he has since claimed to have known nothing about.