THREE BRANCHES

Saying he's fed up with "elitist judges" who are seeking to impose their "radically un-American" views on the rest of us, presidential candidate Newt "Skidmark" Gingrich, said last week that if elected, he plans to ignore Supreme Court decisions he disagrees with, would support having U.S. Marshals bring judges before Congress to explain themselves, and that he'd even consider abolishing courts if he didn't like their rulings.

What. The. Fuck?

I'm not sure if he thinks he's running for President or King of America, but that's not how it really works.

My high school civics teacher Mrs. Stonitsch would roll over in her grave if I didn't offer to step up and give Mr. Gingrich a little refresher course on how government is supposed to work, so here goes.

(chalk to blackboard)

Mr. Gingrich, there are three branches of government: Executive, Legislative, and Judicial. Each of these branches was created (from an ancient Greek model of government) with separate and independent responsibilities so that no one single branch would have more power than the other.

It's all about the checks and balances, Mr. Gingrich.

You would think that someone who calls himself a historian, as Mr. Gingrich does, would know something like that.

What a dick, and a fascist one at that.