CEMENT POND

Okay, Pete and Gina, here I come.

SWOON

. . . yet (once again), the situation is all wrong.

Fuck my life.

TRIBUTE

Televisions first "Frienemies," Carolyn Appleby and Lucy Ricardo. 

So long, Doris Singleton, you did good.

THREE-PEAT

So after five years of wedded bliss, Tom and Katie announced today that they have split and will divorce. This will be her first, although Tom has had two previous visits to divorce court.

Thank goodness the sanctity of marriage has been preserved for douche bags like Mr. Cruise.

SHO' NUFF

From 2002's Undercover Brother

2012 Burger King commercial starring Mary J. Blige that was later pulled because 

of supposed racial stereotyping

This story is a bit old (since this happened in April of this year), but Mary is in the news today, apologizing for the ad, saying she was sold on the ad idea because it was going to "be shot in an ironic way."

Hmm, interesting explanation.

At any rate, I will never again say life doesn't imitate art.

THE SUPREMES

“makes going without insurance just another thing the Government taxes, like buying gasoline or earning income. And if the mandate is in effect just a tax hike on certain taxpayers who do not have health insurance, it may be within Congress’s constitutional power to tax.”

-- Chief Justice John Roberts, on the Affordable Healthcare Act of 2010

John Roberts? Really?

Fucking AWESOME, I love it.

Suck it hard, Republicans!

BACK TO THE FUTURE

Marty McFly: Hey, Doc, we better back up. We don't have enough road to get up to 88.

Dr. Emmett Brown: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

-- Back To The Future (Universal Pictures), 1985

So we're one day after, and I'm not seeing any De Loreans flying around town.

WAKE-UP CALL

I don't know what's up with this waking up at 4am bullshit is about, but it's really driving me bonkers. Oh well, at least The Honeymooners were on television.

SHE AND HIM

She: 40, Red Sparkle nail polish, Bulleit and soda, Beef Pho, Lemondrop, 5th highest score on Galaxa.

Him: 44, Bulleit on the rocks (dos), Beef Salad; Bulleit on the rocks, beat she's 5th highest score on Galaxa.

However, they both sucked at Ms. Pac-Man.

TED

Seth Macfarlane is wicked funny, and this looks promising.

Very promising, indeed.

TACO TRUCK

I came across this photo on another blog yesterday and instantly recognized it as a picture of the tacos served at the beloved taco truck I used to visit with some regularity back in the day. It got to thinking about how it had been WAY TOO LONG since I last enjoyed this little south of the border treat and that I should do something about changing that.

Hey Ryan, before you run off to make LA your new lady, maybe we ought run down there, for old times sake.

TRIBUTE

You don't need to have seen the 1989 classic When Harry Met Sally to know this moment is from that film.

What I love about this scene is you get TWO iconic moments for the price of one (thanks to Estelle Reiner's brilliant one-line delivery at the end of this clip). The whole movie is pretty damn good, and it came from the talented mind of Nora Ephron, who passed away yesterday at 71.

Thanks, Nora. You did good.

LINER NOTES

So while trolling around the interwebs for some music recently, I came across a review for Nitzer Ebb's That Total Age that so amused me, I felt the need to share with you:

“The template for Nitzer Ebb had already been established some years earlier with DAF’s thrilling, rough-yet-clean combination of dancefloor aggression, industrial noise and lyrical imagery (and vocally stylings), suggesting a combination of fascist rally and hardcore male-bondage sex club.”

A combination of fascist rally and hardcore male-bondage sex club?

OH MY GOD, that is so fucking brilliant!

I wish I had written it.

THE MAGIC KINGDOM

As hokey as it is, I absolutely love, love, LOVE Disneyland's Autopia.

PICTURE THIS

Here are a few shots I took during a spontaneous afternoon hike over to Chrissy field.

By the way, I opened up my Instacanvas Gallery, if you ever wanna check it out.

GUILTY PLEASURE

I tried really hard not to do it, but I found myself hitting the "Buy" button a few days back. It was an action that allowed me to download this classic 90's guilty pleasure, I Don't Want To Fall In Love, by Jane Child.

I suppose the .69 cent price tag was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Anyway, let me share my pain with you.

You're welcome.

BLOW OUT THE CANDLES

With my birthday coming up in a few months, I thought I'd just throw this out there:

The blu-ray edition of the Alfred Hitchcock: The Masterpiece Collection is set for release later this Fall, and features some of his best films, including Rear Window, North by Northwest, Psycho, and Vertigo. It also comes with more than 15 hours of bonus extras (my favorite part).

Just a suggestion for those who might be looking for one.

STONE COLD FOX

I love this picture.

PRIDE

Happy Gay Pride Day from the staff of The Steaming Poop blog.

ALLIED FORCES

PRE-MADONNA

I have to say it hurt just a little bit when I recently realized it's been almost 30 years since Madonna's landmark self-titled debut album was released.

In fact, it hurt quite a bit.

I'm not really much of a fan anymore, but there was once a time when I was pretty rabid in my fondness towards her. However, before you start in with all the jokes and shit, let me just say that I can proudly hold my head up high with the honest admission that not once did I EVER "Vogue."

Anyway, here is a demo she recorded back in 1981, Stay. It was never re-recorded or appeared on any of her albums, which is too bad. I think with a little work here and there, it could have been a huge hit.

Take a listen and let me know what you think.

EXTREME MAKEOVER

So here I am in my kitchen, which was recently remodeled.

Looks good, huh?

WISHING WELL

. . . again.

10

Okay, so the original idea here was to post a clip of Dudley Moore falling down a hill from the movie "10," which is included in this collection of clips. I had planned to use it as an amusing point of reference about a recent fall I had on Twin Peaks (into a large patch of Blackberries and poison oak). However, as I watched, I found it incredibly difficult to control my laughter.

Ladies and gentlemen, here are 6 minutes from one of the funniest films of the last 35 years. If it isn't on your Netflix queue, it should be. 

SPELLCHECK

I believe it's wild HUCKLEBERRY that you're trying to herald, here.

WEAR SUNSCREEN

Summer is finally upon us, so watch the UVA/UVB rays, don't drink and drive, and eat lots and lots of fresh guacamole.

Happy Summer '12 from the staff of The Steaming Poop blog. 

SHIT MY BARBER SAYS

"Seriously, listen to that . . . Gorgeous!"

-- My barber Dan, on The Beach Boys classic Don't Worry, Baby, which was playing in the background.

He is so right.

CASTING CALL

So Emma Stone is co-starring in the upcoming The Amazing Spiderman?

Oh baby, my spidey-senses are tingling something fierce.

PSYCHO KILLER

Seriously, I need to find out the brand of hair product
he's using. That's some serious hold, and it seems to offer the kind
I've been searching for.

A friend of mine once told me many years ago that she had read Virgos were most likely to be serial killers. I believed her because as a proud card-carrying Virgo, I've had to work very hard to suppress my homicidal tendencies a few times.

Turns out she wrong (big surprise, as she usually was about shit like this).

Anyway, according to FBI statistics, those born under the Cancer astrological sign are statistically the most booked criminals, and are considered the most violent.

For those interested, here's how the rest of the signs placed:

2.  Taurus

3.  Sagittarius

4.  Aries

5.  Capricorn

6.  VIRGO

7.  Libra

8.  Pisces

9.  Scorpio

10. Leo

11. Aquarius

12. Gemini (really, Gemini is the safest astrological sign?)

BURGER TIME

Oh my god, I will totally go down on ANYONE who takes me to the fine establishment where this is served.

Seriously, I will.

PICTURE THIS

Glen Canyon

Hyatt Regency Hotel, Embarcadero Center

I love an old neon sign, especially one that's aged

Former Bank of America Headquarters

Fencing

Montgomery and Bush Streets

Russ Building

San Francisco Unified School District Administration Bldg
(formerly Commerce High School)

This was how I spent my weekend.

ARTICLES OF CLOTHING

Oh man, gimme, gimme, gimme, mine, mine, MINE!

PICTURE THIS

Glen Canyon

Glen Canyon

Mt. San Bruno, as seen from the tippy top of Twin Peaks

Downtown SF, as seen from the tippy top of Twin Peaks

Me and my (thinning) shadow

5:40   am - Wake up
6:40   am - Coffee down
7:40   am - Start hike
10:05 am - End hike

7.2 Miles and 5 pictures on 1 cup of coffee.

Damn I'm good!

SUNDAY SERVICES

Yes.

Yes it is.

PICTURE THIS - REDUX

Looking south toward Mt. San Bruno

Here are a few more shots from the afternoon hike I took through Glen Canyon Park, earlier this week.

I FUCKIN' SHOT THAT

I have a few regrets in life, and after last night, I have one more to add to the list.

The closest I came to seeing The Beastie Boys live, was when I was supposed to go see Madonna at the Civic Center Auditorium in San Francisco, back in 1985. They were her opening act (and they were soundly BOOED everywhere they played), but due to a circumstance that I should have seen coming, I didn't get to go.

This is an issue I still occasionally bring up at family holidays.

Anyway, I caught the documentary I Fuckin' Shot That at the Roxie Theater last night, with Robin T. It was part of their evening tribute to Adam Yauch, aka MCA, who passed away recently from cancer. The movie is a collection of clips taken from their October 2004 Madison Square Garden show, when 50 LUCKY fans were given camcorders and asked to shoot whatever they saw that night.

The final product shows the group in top form, and it left me with just one thought:

I regret never seeing The Beastie Boys live, because their shit was tight . . . 

. . . hella tight!

Click to see the full-length documentary here.

PAY BACK

Testifying before Congress yesterday, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon said that those involved with a transaction that involved a loss of $2 billion dollars, MAY have some of their pay taken by the company.

MAY have some of their pay taken by the company? What the fuck?

Dimon went on to say "It's likely there will be clawbacks."

Likely? Oh brother.

This is an issue that is right up my alley, so here goes.

During my sojourn at the too big to fail Lehman Brothers, my sole responsibility was to clear up trade issues similar to this. If, for whatever reason, a trade that did not settle within the regulated time (trade date plus three days), and there was a loss on that transaction, the trade in question was "busted" (cancelled), with the broker being charged against his or her commissions for any loss incurred, no matter the amount.

The most that was ever charged for a bad trade was just over $75,000. Suffice it to say that it was not a good day for that particular broker.

This is such a simple issue (at least to me), and there shouldn't be any question as to whether or not those responsible for this should be charged, because they should. Supposedly, it is the policy of JPMChase to recover any stock grants, options, and bonuses for from employees who exercise bad trade judgement, although they admit this is a policy that has never been enforced.

Looks to me like this is a good time to start that enforcement.

PICTURE THIS

I was quite surprised when I recently realized that I had NEVER been through Glen Canyon Park, in spite of  the fact that I have lived in San Francisco for so many years.

As I made my way through what was a pretty simple (and quick) hike up to the top (which I was amused to find was the Diamond Heights Shopping Center), I was struck by the fact that in the not so distant past, this area was due to be covered with homes and such.

Hats off to those who fought the good fight against those salivating developers, because it would be hard to imagine a San Francisco without this beautiful little oasis.