EIGHT MILLION STORIES

There are eight millions stories in the naked city, and this is one of them.

Back in 1996, the landmark Waldorf-Astoria Hotel was the site of the American Museum of the Moving Image gala tribute to film director Martin Scorsese. Now, Marty and I are THIS CLOSE, but somehow, I didn't make it on the invite list.

I'm pretty sure it was just a careless oversight on the part of his people.

Anyway, in the grand tradition of Lucy Ricardo, I managed to secure a hotel employee name tag from a friend who worked there. On the evening of the event, I put on the name tag, went to the hotel and because I was wearing the name tag, I was also able to enjoy a free Prime Rib dinner (with all the trimmings) in the employee lounge.

Membership has its privileges.

After penetrating the so-called security, I found myself mingling in the lobby with such important celebrities as Rosanna Arquette and Rosie Perez, who were having their picture taken together by some photographers. I immediately stood behind them and got in the picture, although I have never seen a copy.

At one point, a woman who was VERY tiny in stature walked by me, and my friend nearly lost his shit. "Oh my god, is that Lee Grant," he asked. I rolled my eyes and very dismissively replied:

"No, that's Helen Gurley-Brown."

Helen, the former editor of Cosmopolitan, a magazine she single-handedly rescued from near-death in the 1960's, passed away yesterday at the age of 90.

There are eight million stories in the naked city, and this was one of them.