July 30, 2009

I'M SORRY, WE DON'T TAKE DISCOVER


Here's a link to a NEW YORK TIMES piece from yesterday about how to make air travel a little less annoying.

I have a few ideas of my own that, I believe, will address this serious issue (although it's directed at the legacy carriers):

STOP TAKING DISCOVER CARD

STOP CHARGING FOR BAGGAGE CHECK - SERIOUSLY, JUST RAISE THE FARE ACCORDINGLY OR FIND ANOTHER WAY TO HIDE THAT CHARGE WITHIN THE PUBLISHED FARE.

STOP LOWERING THE FARES - I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE SCREAMING INTO TV CAMERAS ABOUT HOW EXPENSIVE IT IS TO FLY THESE DAYS - THE AIRLINES ARE NOT IN THE BUSINESS OF SUBSIDIZING YOUR FAMILY VACATION TO KNOTT'S BERRY FARM, WHICH YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T HAVE AFFORDED ANYWAY IF YOU HADN'T USED YOUR DISCOVER CARD TO PURCHASE THE TICKETS.

STOP TAKING DISCOVER CARD

STOP ALLOWING FAMILIES TO BOARD FIRST. NO, IT'S NOT CUTE WATCHING YOUR STUPID 2 YEAR OLD WOBBLE HER WAY DOWN THE AISLE WITH 55 PASSENGERS STANDING BEHIND HER WHO ARE TRYING TO GET TO THEIR OWN SEATS SO THAT AN "ON-TIME DEPARTURE" CAN HAPPEN. IN FACT, HOW ABOUT PROVIDING A LITTLE BENADRYL FOR THOSE SEAT-BACK KICKING BOOGER MACHINES. IT MAKES FOR A QUIET, RESTFUL FLIGHT FOR EVERYONE.

HOW ABOUT A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF LEG ROOM FOR THOSE POOR, UNFORTUNATE SOULS WHO HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF FLYING STEERAGE?

HOW ABOUT TAKING A LOOK AT THE BUSINESS MODELS FOR VIRGIN AMERICA AND SOUTHWEST AIRLINES. THEY BOTH SEEM TO KNOW HOW TO DO IT BETTER (ALTHOUGH I BELIEVE VIRGIN AMERICA DOES IT WAYYYYY BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE - I KNOW THIS FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND THEY ARE THE ONLY AIRLINE I FLY).

and stop taking Discover Card

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