PUT ME IN COACH, I'M READY TO PLAY

Ladies and Gentlemen, the opening day roster for your New York Yankees (against the Detroit Tigers):

Brett Gardner LF
Derek Jeter SS
Mark Teixeira 1B
Alex Rodriguez 3B
Robinson Cano 2B
Nick Swisher RF
Jorge Posada DH
Curtis Granderson CF
Russell Martin C
C.C. Sabathia P

Oh, to be in The Bronx today. GO YANKEES!

WALKING TALL

So, fellow choir-nerd, Facebook friend, and my 10th grade girlfriend Kim, is participating a 13.1 mile walk to raise money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS). It's a disease that has touched her family (her cousin Thomas is currently battling the disease), so she's taking the bull by the horns and has so far raised $2400. Her ultimate goal is to raise $3000.

Donations are allocated in a variety of ways. Some funding goes toward research into finding a cure for blood cancers as well as improving the lives of current patients through new drugs and improved therapies. Other funding goes toward patient and family outreach and services, so that their time and energy can be focused on recovery.

The walk takes place this May along the beautiful Avenue Of The Giants in Humboldt County. I thought I'd include a link to her sponsor page and see if we can help her reach that $3000 goal.

Go on, Kim. You get it, girl.

BEST IN SHOW

With so many beef  and dairy ranches, farms full of fresh produce, and hundreds of miles of beautiful places to hike within it's borders, I'm not at all surprised that the University of Wisconsin's Population Health Institute and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation has ranked Marin County as having the best overall health of any county in California.

Only 7 percent of Marin residents said their health was fair or poor compared with the state average of 18 percent.

The Marin Independant Journal has more of the study results on their website.

GAG REFLEX

With less than three months completed as Lt. Governor of California, word on the street is that Gavin Newsom is already planning to run for governor in 2014.

According to an unnamed source reporting to SFGATE, Newsom allegedly approached someone at a charity fundraiser about raising money for a second run.

Way to show a united front against the Republicans, asshole.

IT'S THE TIME OF THE SEASON FOR . . .

. . . Strawberries.

I picked up my first batch this season at Whole Foods earlier today.

Damn, they were good.

PICTURE THIS - FORTY SHADES OF GREEN

A few shots of green in Golden Gate Park.

PICTURE THIS - WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM

I don't remember where these pictures were taken, but they were taken during a rather infamous family vacation in 1981.

FOOT FETISH

It sure is a long way from MGM to Mountain Dew, huh?

PRAISE THE LARD

A recently released Northwestern University study found that people who attended church or participated in church-related activities at least once a week, were more than twice as likely as people with no religious involvement to become obese.

Another reason why I don't go to church.

NAME DROPPER

In an attempt to distance herself from her douchey father, former actress Lindsay Lohan announced, via her manager and douchey mother Dina Lohan, that she is dropping her last name and will stick with using her first name only.

One name, huh? I've got a few "one-name monikers" she can go by, but I'll be nice and just suggest one:

Idiot.

BLOWHARD

Billionaire windbag Donald Trump, who is kicking around the idea of running for president (yawn), has shown that even attending some of the best schools in the country (Fordham, Wharton) doesn't necessarily make you smart.

Mr. Trump has decided to join the ridiculous (and disproved) chorus of the "birthers" and has called on President Obama to "show his birth certificate."

During an appearance on The View yesterday, Donald asked "Why doesn't he show his birth certificate? If you go back to my first grade, my kindergarten, people remember me. Nobody from those early years remembers him."

Really, Mr. Trump? You're going to play that card? Once again, you have proven that money doesn't buy class or brains.

What an asshole.

For those who are still in doubt, please visit FactCheck.org. They are a non-partisan, non-profit organization that PROVED in 2008, the birth certificate on file is, in fact, a true birth certificafte that confirms he was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961.

FEED ME, SEYMOUR

A beloved Petaluma tradition since 1976, Old Chicago Pizza is SOoo worth the drive up.

Oh, the carbs, the carbs.

41 Petaluma Boulevard North
Petaluma CA 707-763-3897

TRIBUTE



with daughter Liza Todd, 1964



"Celluloid heroes never really die"

-- Ray Davies

So long, Elizabeth.

National Velvet (1944)

A Place In The Sun (1951)




Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (1958)



Suddenly, Last Summer (1959)

Who's Afraid Of Virgina Woolf (1966)

These, I believe, are the BEST five films she made. Check 'em out.

A TWO-HAIL MARY MINIMUM

Only in Texas could you get away with something like this.

You're welcome.

A special Pooper Scooper shout-out to Iliana for bring this to my attention. I couldn't think of a more appropriate story to celebrate my 1000th blog entry.

TARDY TO THE PARTY - WHIP IT

With bad-ass chicks like Zoe Bell, Drew Barrymore, Eve, Juliette Lewis, and Jimmy Fallon, how could this movie go wrong?

It's too bad moviegoers ignored this one because Whip It, which I FINALLY saw today, is pretty awesome.

GREEN THUMB

Just over a year ago, an orchid enthusiast I once knew helped me pick one out that was going to be low-maintenance and would occasionally bloom.

I was disappointed to find that it only sends up one bloom a year. However, the bloom for this year has fully-opened and will last a couple of weeks, just in time for the arrival of Spring.

Very nice.

MY OZ - EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

" . . . the nearest thing to heaven we have in New York"

-- Irene Dunne, Love Affair, 1939

SENDING OUT AN S.O.S.

Watching Japan suffer through this great tragedy has been quite sad and has had me wondering what can I do to help, especially after reading all the Facebook status updates calling for "thoughts and prayers for Japan." I'm sooo tired of seeing that. These people don't need "thoughts and prayers," they need actual help, so I looked around for some alternative ways to do my part and found a few that you might find interesting.

I donated 46,000 air miles to two organizations. The Red Cross is, for the most part, the beneficiary of this program, but several airlines offer more than one group you can donate to. Those miles are used to fly disaster relief volunteers to Japan. Some airlines are also offering bonus miles to those who do straight-up cash donations, so check your preferred airline website for details.

Also, Google has a one-stop page for all information regarding travel, organizations accepting donations, and other vital information.

TOUJOUR L'AMOUR, MIETTE

Vincent Vega: Goddamn, this is a pretty fucking good milkshake.
Mia Wallace: Told ya.
Vincent Vega: I don't know if it's worth five dollars, but it's pretty fucking good.

-- John Travolta and Uma Thurman, Pulp Fiction, 1994

That's pretty much how I felt about the Meyer Lemon Ice Cream Sandwich I purchased yesterday at my beloved snack shack, Miette (ferry building).

Oh, who am I kidding. That four dollar delight was totally worth it and I probably would have paid five dollars for it.

Oh, who am I kidding, I would have paid five dollars for it.

DIG IF YOU WILL THE PICTURE

That's me running into The Great Salt Lake, near the end of a rather infamous family vacation in 1981.

HEY, YOU, I DON'T LIKE YOUR (EX) GIRLFRIEND JEANS

So it's been about a month since the Ex-Girlfriend Jeans from Levi's were thrust upon us and I'm still having a little trouble with it.

Their website refers them as a tribute to "the girlfriend with the great style."

Hmmm, so your girlfriend dumps you and now you're going to start dressing like her as a tribute?

That's kind of weird.

FROM THE DESK OF

To:     The makers of Wasa Crackers
From: Scott Crayne
Re:     Packaging

To whom it may concern:

Your crackers rock, but the packaging sucks. Once they're open, they can't be resealed and the crackers go stale. Please fix this.

Thank you.

MY OZ - I LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE

When I was 11, the plan was to run away from home so I could check out Studio 54. The party barely lasted a couple of years but the people who survived to tell the tale (and there aren't that many) all confirm it was one helluva party.

Damn, I shoulda went for it.

JIM NEVER HAS A SECOND CUP OF COFFEE

Where does your favourite cup of joe come from? Is it Peets? How about Blue Bottle? Does the java they serve up at 7-11 work for you?

Personally, I prefer the San Sebastian Guatemala from Peets.

the Front Steps is conducting it's annual Best Coffee in San Francisco survey, but you better hurry. Voting ends on Friday, March 16.

OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATE

What if you gave a party and no only did everyone you invite show up, but they brought along a friend or two as well?

Bridge officials estimated that 50,000 people would come celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the landmark crossing.

Instead, 500,000 showed up and if you look closely at the picture I took after I made it to the San Francisco side, you'll see the middle of the bridge is flat.

Yikes.

The Golden Gate Bridge turns 75 in May of 2012.

PICTURE THIS

Devils Tower, Wyoming.

Taken during a rather infamous family vacation in 1981.

CHRISTIAN LOVE

"What if God was tired of the way they treated their own people in there own country! Idk (I don't know) guys he makes no mistakes."

WNBA player Cappie Pondexter's Tweet message following the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Wait, it gets better. She went on to follow-up that message with:

"u just never knw! They did pearl harbor so u can't expect anything less."

Wow, what a thoughtless little bitch. You are not a Christian, Ms. Pondexter, so stop presenting yourself as one.

AND A PARTRIDGE IN THE CASTRO

Shirley Jones won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress over the heavily favoured to win Janet Leigh (Psycho) for her career redefining performance as a prostitute in the classic Elmer Gantry (seen here with fellow Oscar winner for Best Actor, Burt Lancaster).

In conjunction with the Turner Classic Movies Classic Film Festival, TV's original rock and roll mom will be making a personal appearance at the fabled Castro Theatre, along with TCM host Ben Mankiewicz. The event, which will include a screening of the film, is scheduled for April 20th. Tickets go on sale April 6.

Awesome.

DEAR DIARY

I came across a New York Times column today called Metropolitan Diary: Readers Tales From The City. It's a pretty amusing little collection of anecdotes sent in by readers about the city I love so much.

Check it out.

(cr)APPLE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

Some (cr)Apple iPhone users are complaining that their phones didn't automatically spring ahead for Daylight Savings Time, which began yesterday. This is similar to an issue in November, when phones didn't fall back one hour.

Wow, what a shock.

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

In spite of their claim to fight for jobs and lowering the deficit, Republicans have announced they plan to fight against the non-defense of DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) by the Obama Administration.

House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi wrote Speaker Boehner to ask him how much it's going to cost to hire outside legal counsel to defend DOMA and whether there is going to be someone to oversee litigation costs.

"Dear Speaker:

The House Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group (BLAG) voted this week by a 3-2 margin to direct the House General Counsel to initiate a legal defense of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). As you know, the Democratic members of the BLAG voted against directing the House Counsel to initiate the costly defense of a statute which many believe to be unconstitutional under the Equal Protection clause.

While respecting the role of the BLAG to make such decisions, I disagree in this circumstance because of the number of cases, at least 10. There are numerous parties who will continue to litigate these ongoing cases regardless of the involvement of the House. No institutional purpose is served by having the House of Representatives intervene in this litigation which will consume 18 months or longer. As we noted, the constitutionality of this statute will be determined by the Courts, regardless of whether the House chooses to intervene.

The resolution passed by the BLAG also directs the House General Counsel to hire private lawyers rather than utilize his own office to represent the House. The General Counsel indicated that he lacked the personnel and the budget to absorb those substantial litigation duties. It is important that the House receive an estimate of the cost to taxpayers for engaging private lawyers to intervene in the pending DOMA cases. It is also important that the House know whether the BLAG, the General Counsel, or a Committee of the House have the responsibility to monitor the actions of the outside lawyers and their fees.

The American people want Congress to be working on the creation of jobs and ensuring the continued progress of our economic recovery rather than involving itself unnecessarily in such costly and divisive litigation.

Thank you for your responses to these questions concerning the cost and oversight of the litigation as it proceeds through the courts.

best regards,

NANCY PELOSI

Democratic Leader"

Sounds like a fair question to me, considering how easy it is to overbill the government for ANYTHING. I don't know why I'm still amazed at the energy and money being wasted on such a ridiculous issue, but I am.

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS

Monroe and the New York City Subway. Two great looks that look great together.

GIRL CRUSH

Romy Schneider

Love.

YOUR HIT PARADE

Otis Redding once jokingly said that Aretha Franklin should have been arrested for theft because her version of Respect was so good that no one remembered he originally recorded the classic song.

That's exactly how I feel about The Sundays cover of The Rolling Stones song Wild Horses. They took a song that, in my opinion, isn't so great and turned it into something so beautiful and so romantic that it almost moves me to tears everytime I hear it.

Almost.

ZO YM

A pretty terrific shot of Midtown Manhattan from 1932 that appears to be reversed.

THE WAR ON WOMEN

I just don't understand why ANY woman would want to support the GOP.

The Republicans (along with 10 democrats) recently passed a bill that eliminated federal funding for Planned Parenthood. They also have proposed cutting $1 Billion dollars from the Head Start program, effectively ending preschool for as many as 157,000 children.

At the state level, Arizona Republicans have proposed issuing "different" birth certificates to children born to illegal immigrants, in an attempt to nullify their birthright citizenship, something that is guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment. South Dakota politicians are currently considering a bill that would justify homicide in the case of imminent harm to a fetus, something that some critics believe may in effect legalize the murder of abortion providers.

Wow. I guess the "Repugnicans" won't be satisfied until all women are back in the kitchen, barefooted, pregnant, AND quiet.

Melissa Harris-Perry of The Nation writes a pretty scathing (and scary) article about this subject that you might find interesting.

WALKING THE PLANK

I didn't have my first bowl of Cap'n Crunch until the early 1990's and when I did, I became so sad when I thought about how much happier my childhood would have been if I this super-sugary treat had been allowed in our cupboard.

Oh well.

PepsiCo, parent company of Quaker Oats, manufacturer of Cap'n Crunch has announced it will no longer market the breakfast cereal to children. Declining sales, complaints of the high sugar content (12 grams per serving), and the war on childhood obesity are all factors in the decision, which many say, is the beginning of the end for the cap'n.

THE MOST RIDICULOUS CITY IN THE WORLD IS . . .

. . . San Francisco.

Well, actually, I should say "The Most Ridiculous People In The World Are San Franciscans," because in this case, that description applies.

Russian Hill residents are in a tissy over the possible lost of a parking garage and it's 58 spaces. Pictured above, the 1920's-era structure is set to be turned into 7 condominiums. I suppose the loss of 58 parking spaces is something to be concerned about, but it turns out that of those 58 spaces, only 14 are currently being rented. Also, some of the excuses being used to defend the saving of those coveted spaces are:

• an increase in air pollution
• more street traffic
• (my personal favourite) some residents will be forced to hike hundreds of yards over hilly terrain from their cars to their homes.

Forced to hike HUNDREDS of yards over hilly terrain? My god, you would think these people were living in the jagged and treacherous mountains that surround Afghanistan. How insanely dramatic (and lazy) can you get?

You know, there's a reason why Russian Hill is called Russian Hill. IT'S ON A HILL!

So, if you can't handle walking your fat, self-entitled ass up and down a hill, then perhaps you shouldn't have moved to a part of town called RUSSIAN HILL!

I WOULD GLADLY PAY YOU TUESDAY FOR A HAMBURGER TODAY

I don't eat them very much, so when I order a hamburger, it better damn well be damn good.

7x7SF just posted their top ten burger picks for San Francisco and I'm not sure if I should be excited or concerned, as most of the restaurants that made the cut seem to be within walking distance of the Steaming Poop newsroom.

IN LIVING COLOR

Looking east of Market Street, with the Flood Building on the left

Looking south towards City Hall

The Smithsonian announced this morning the discovery of some rare color photos taken after the great San Francisco Earthquake of 1906.

Taken by local photographer Frederick Ives, they are being called the earliest color photos taken in the city by the bay.

What an amazing discovery, I want to see more.