PHONE SEX

Even though I was gainfully employed at a brokerage downtown, I took a part-time job as a phone sex operator. A friend of mine at the time was a full-time operator, and she used to record her calls and then play them back for our amusement. One day I said to her "I could totally do this" and just like that, I was soon hired by the agency she worked for. I only held the job for a couple of months, until the novelty wore off. Anyway, because I had to be at work so early in the morning (market hours meant reporting to work around 6am), I would unplug my phone before I went to sleep.

One night I forgot to unplug the phone, and I was awakened around 2am. It was the service, and they said they knew I wasn't signed on, but a caller had requested to speak to a guy and, would I take the call?

Half-dead asleep, I said ok, and here's how one of my last (and more amusing calls) went:

Me: So what would you like us to be doing?

Him: Well, I want to ask you something first.

Me: Sure, what?

Him: Well, I really want to fuck my wife in the ass, but she won't let me. How can I change her mind?

I thought it was strange that a guy would be calling a phone sex line for advice, but I'm a sympathetic listener. Anyway, after a small back and forth about anal sex, I reminded him that he had only paid for 5 minutes, and those 5 minutes were almost up.

Me: Ok, your time is almost up, so if you wanna do something, we're gonna need to get started right now, so what do you wanna hear?

Him: I want to walk in and find you fucking my wife in bed.

Me: CENSORED

Him: Oh yeah

Me: CENSORED

Him: CENSORED

Me: So are you gonna join us?

Him: No, I want to watch and jack off.

Me: CENSORED

Him: Oh yeah

Me: CENSORED

Him: No, I wanna see you fuck her in the ass!

Me: You want me to fuck her in the ass?

Him: YEAH!

Me: If she won't let you fuck her in the ass, what makes you think she's gonna let me?

Him: Ok, Goodnight, Hank (my phone name). Go back to sleep.

(click)