"I WANT TO STAB YOU TO DEATH, AND THEN PLAY AROUND WITH YOUR BLOOD"

"American Psycho" was a controversial release back in 2000 that was largely ignored. Hopefully, it will be rediscovered because it's completely worth it.

I've been watching it again after many years on DVD and can't seem to get enough.

Check it out!

THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND

You never know what you really have until it's gone, so the saying goes. No big surprise here, but it turns out we really did have something special in the form of Beatrice Arthur.

Details from the TV legend's last will and testament were revealed this morning and they show her as someone incredibly caring, thoughtful and generous.

The Ali Forney Center in New York, which helps home young members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities who have been disowned by their families, was bestowed an amazing gift of $300,000 from Ms. Arthur's estate. The organization has announced that the money will go towards the purchase of a new 12-bed home that will be named in the honor of Ms. Arthur.

So cool.

ALRIGHT BOYS, KISS AND MAKE UP

Read the first letter of each sentence on the left-hand side of the card above downward, starting with the first paragraph. It's been said that this is the response from the Governor to State Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, who yelled "You Lie" and "Kiss My Gay Ass" at Arnold during a recent political event.

It may just be a coincidence but it's kind of clever, funny and immature all at the same time.

CAT FLU

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

This is going to be a tough call because both teams (NEW YORK YANKEES and PHILADEPHIA PHILLES) are two great teams AND the Phillies did win the series last year. But this front page of the New York Post pretty much sums up how I (and all Yankee fans feel).

God I love that town.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

I was looking for a picture to add to a blog entry regarding the latest San Francisco Muni scandal and came across this one instead. It brought a smile to my face and I hope you enjoy it as well (especially some of you old-school San Franciscans out there).

This is the Castro/Market/17th Street intersection in 1967, before the trains were moved underground in 1976.

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

Because I know several members of the Television Academy of Arts and Sciences (the emmys) read this blog regularly, I have one thing to say: don't even bother with a category, just give Ted Danson an EMMY right now for his wicked-brilliant performance in BORED TO DEATH (HBO).

He hasn't been this good since CHEERS (the first five seasons, that is).

DUMB STUFF WHITE PEOPLE DO

I saw "PARANORMAL ACTIVITY" last friday and I've got one thing to say about this movie: Oh man, what a piece of SHIT!

It reminded me of why I think white folks (at least in horror movies) are so stupid. They seem to move into haunted houses quite often and when they find out they're haunted, THEY STAY!!!

I know, I know, technically this wasn't about a haunted house, it was about a demon following around the female character, blah, blah, blah. But still, her boyfriend knows this AND HE STAYS!

There is one thing I know about myself and that's I only need to have a ghost tell me once to "GET OUT" before I hightail it the hell out of there, PRONTO!

Do yourself a favor and stay away from this movie. For your Halloween movie-going pleasure, go rent something really scary-fying like any of the following:

Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Halloween (1978)
28 Days Later (2002)
Pretty Woman (1990)

POINT BREAK

Having been canceled for the last 2 years because of low surf, the November 1st opening of the Mavericks Surf Contest down in Half Moon Bay is being greeted with great anticipation.

Thank you, El Nino, for the expected 40-foot swells.

"I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE, I WANT TO RIDE MY BIKE"

The bike-riding season will soon be coming to a close (at least for me). I spend all of my riding time on the East Bay bike trails, with my favorite being the Iron Horse Trail.

It's easy to sometimes forget what a beautiful region the SF Bay Area is until you leave the car behind, get on a trail, and just let yourself go via a nice long bike ride.

"ARE YOU AS GOOD IN BED AS YOU ARE ON THE DANCE FLOOR?"

I was teaching the twenty-something double-fucks I share an office with this afternoon a funny little disco dance move to the song "Keep On Jumpin" by Musique. It was a move performed in the movie "Saturday Night Fever" and made for an amusing moment.

"THE SUCCESSFUL CRIMINAL BRAIN IS ALWAYS SUPERIOR. IT HAS TO BE"

Joseph Wiseman, who played Dr. No in the first James Bond film, died yesterday. He was 92,

WELCOME TO SAN FRANCISCO, NOW GO HOME

When I first moved back from New York City a few years ago, I noticed that this sign was in the front of every business I walked by (and a few homes as well). They are called "Requests for Enforcement of Municipal Police Code Section 25," and they state that "no person shall willfully remain upon any private property or business after being notified to leave by owner, leasee or other person in charge."

Really?

San Francisco felt the need to create something like this? I can't think of anything more unwelcoming than seeing this hanging in a window.

IT'S GOT A GOOD BEAT AND YOU CAN DANCE TO IT

Every so often a song comes along that TOTALLY captures my attention, and when it happens, I will sit there and listen to it . . . over and over and over again.

"Frozen" by Madonna falls under that category, as does "Easy To Please" by Coldplay.

Today, courtesy of It's an Ocean, I've been enjoying a clip of "Open The Floodgates" by Thom Yorke of Radiohead.

I love this song so much right now that I will do anything (or anyone) for an MP3 of it.

IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF, NO ONE ELSE WILL

Today's pooper-scooper shout out goes to Kyle for this amusing story out of Louisiana.

Opelousas police say Frank Lahay exposed himself in the public hallway of the St. Landry Parish Courthouse, and began to perform sexual acts on himself, in full public view.

This went on for over an hour before a secretary, who worked in the building, realized what was going on and had the man arrested after notifying her supervisor.

I FELT THE EARTH, MOVE, UNDER MY FEET

It's hard to believe that 20 years have passed since the Loma Prieta Earthquake in 1989. I was working for The Sharper Image at their headquarters on the corner of Davis and Broadway. Laura (a co-worker) and I were just leaving for the day when the building began to shake. When all was said and done, Laura and I began to walk around the area and found ourselves in Chinatown, where there didn't seem to be too much damage. We were beginning to think that the earthquake wasn't as bad as it felt.

That was until we reached Union Square.

The picture above is of the great old San Francisco department store, I. Magnin, located at Geary and Sacramento Streets. From the north end of Union Square, we could see that every window (except for one, as seen above) had broken. There were people on the sidewalk who were bloody and that's when it hit me that this earthquake had been a serious one.

REPUBLICAN PARTY MEMBERS OK RAPE

A 20-year old female contract worker for KBR, Inc (a subsidiary of Halliburton) was gang-raped and then left in a storage container for 24 hour to keep her from reporting the incident. This happened in 2005 while she worked in Iraq.

When she returned home, she filed a lawsuit against Halliburton, only to have it thrown out of court because Halliburton/KBR excercised a clause in her contract requiring disputes to be settled by arbitration – a policy which, her lawyer says, has encouraged assaults by creating a climate of impunity.

Freshman Minnesota Senator Al Franken introduced legislation that "prohibits the use of funds for any Federal contract with Halliburton Company, KBR, Inc., any of their subsidiaries or affiliates, or any other contracting party if such contractor or a subcontractor at any tier under such contract requires that employees or independent contractors sign mandatory arbitration clauses regarding certain claims."

The measure passed 68 yeas to 30 nays.

30 nays???? WTF? 30 senators voted against a law giving women protection when they've been raped by co-workers? I'm almost speechless.

Almost.

Here are the names of those 30 assholes who voted for rape (by the way, they're all Republicans and I wonder if they thought of their daughters and/or their granddaughters when they cast their NO votes):

Alexander (TN)
Barrasso (WY)
Bond (MO)
Brownback (KS)
Bunning (KY)
Burr (NC)
Chambliss (GA)
Coburn (OK)
Cochran (MS)
Corker (TN)
Cornyn (TX)
Crapo (ID)
DeMint (SC)
Ensign (NV)
Enzi (WY)
Graham (SC)
Gregg (NH)
Inhofe (OK)
Isakson (GA)
Johanns (NE)
Kyl (AZ)
McCain (AZ) Wow, John McCain voted no? Amazing
McConnell (KY)
Rische (ID)
Roberts (KS)
Sessions (AL)
Shelby (AL)
Thune (SD)
Vitter (LA)
Wicker (MS)

Well done, Mr. Franken.

NAKED WOMEN AND CIGARETTES - A DEADLY COMBINATION

Hello Yummy, always leading the way, showed them first. It was quickly followed-up with a mention on It's An Ocean.

However, the above Mel Ramos is on a T-shirt I purchased in a shop near Wrigley Field in Chicago back in 2003. Admittedly, I had no idea who the artist was when I got it but fell in love with it at first sight, and I still love wearing it today.

SARAH SILVERMAN IS MY NEW RELIGION

Comedian and goddess Sarah Silverman has released another wicked-brilliant video calling on the Catholic church to sell The Vatican and use the proceeds to feed the world.

"On an ego level alone you will be the biggest hero in the history of ever!" she exclaimed. "Sell the Vatican. Feed the world."

The Catholic League has, of course, shown that it has no sense of humor and denounced Silverman's video as a "filthy diatribe."

Losers.

IN MEMORIAM

THE PHONE RINGS
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
MY FATHER YELLS
"WHAT YOU GONNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE"
OH DADDY DEAR YOU KNOW YOU'RE STILL NUMBER ONE

Another 80's icon passes. "Captain" Lou Albano died yesterday at 76.

SPORT HUNTING IS NOTHING BUT MURDER

So I saw on the news this morning that 300 Black Bears in California have been killed so far this hunting season.

Absolutely disgusting.

THEY PLUMP WHEN YOU COOK 'EM

THE VICIOUS MRS. PARKER

I just quoted Dorothy Parker on my Facebook page, so I'm going to pay tribute to my writing idol by posting some of her best quotes on this page.

This is some of what she had to say:

On Katherine Hepburn: "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B"

On her apartment: "It's just big enough to lay my hat . . . and a few friends"

On the opposite sex: "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses"

On her epitaph: "It would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgement"

On the wealthy: "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to"

On being challenged at using HORTICULTURE in a sentence: "You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think"

I love you, Dorothy Parker!

SENATE BILL 54, WHERE ARE YOU?

California State Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed SB 54 into law today. It recognizes gay marriages performed out of state, although gay marriages performed in California are still banned, per Proposition 8.

Said Assemblyman Mark Leno: "we wrote the bill very specificially to match not only the intent but the very words of the Supreme Court's decision in upholding Prop. 8,'' he said. "We thought it was necessary to clarify the legal status of thousands of legally married couples."

So cool.

STORMS COMIN'

We're supposed to get anywhere from 1 to 7 inches of rain from the storm due to arrive tomorrow.

Good thing I'm on the third floor.

BEST NEW SHOW ON TV

With Jason (Rushmore) Schwartzman and Zach (The Hangover) Galifianakis, this wicked-brilliant show is about an amateur (and unlicenced) private detective in Brooklyn. Absolute hilarity ensues.

Watch it! (someday, I hope to read the same thing about my show, PERMA-TEMP)

GONE FISHIN'

The classics never disappoint, huh?

The Steaming Poop is on vacation. We'll be back, better than ever in a few days.

GO YANKEES!

THE CITY SO NICE, THEY NAMED IT TWICE

Jason of Sassmouth Chronicles brought this to my attention yesterday and I was absolutely tickled by it. I apologize for the format issue here but I wasn't able to fix it.

God, I love that town!

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME . . .

and this movie is "home" for me.

I received the latest DVD release of this true classic film yesterday and I can't wait to sit down and watch it for the millionth time. Wizard Of Oz is always listed in my top five favorite films, but secretly, it is my true favorite.

Back in the early 90's, I had the pleasure of seeing it on the big screen for the first time. Before the movie started, a mother had brought her son and they sat in the row behind me. It was pretty obvious that it was this kid's first time at the movies because his mother was telling him that what he was going to see was only make believe and that he didn't need to be scared. I groaned and thought to myself "oh great, this kid's never gonna shut up."

I was wrong.

He sat quiet through the whole film except during the scene where Toto escapes the Wicked Witch's castle. When Toto reaches the drawbridge that the witch's minions are starting to raise up, the dog hesitates for a split second and in that split second, the kid sitting behind me screams "Jump, Toto, Jump." Toto, of course, jumps and the entire theatre erupted with laughter and applause.

This movie is absolute magic!

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

I watched a few minutes of a Duran Duran concert on television this weekend. It was nice to see that Simon LeBon is still in good voice.

In the few moments that I watched, I was instantly transported back to the year 1984. That's when I saw them live at the Oakland Coliseum Arena (for $21 bucks, by the way). We (the group of friends I went with) managed to get pretty damn close to the stage, so cool.

YEAH, BUT WILL I STILL HAVE TO TAKE THESE OFF TO GO THROUGH SECURITY

I was telling a friend of mine yesterday, after seeing these in a storefront display, that I had seen some loser on the Muni Metro wearing these the day before. Then, in today's SF Chronicle, I read that they're all the rage right now and that they go for $75 to $85 a pair.

This makes, in my opinion, the guy I saw wearing these a complete loser.

I think I'm going to take a pass on this fad.

CHOW TIME

One of the better restaurants in the neighborhood where Irving lives is CHOW (church st). They suffered a fire about 2 months ago and just reopened last week and not a moment too soon.

Chow is one of those restaurants that serves great food (locally grown/raised and organic) with a lively and terrific atmosphere. They have three other locations, Irving Street (just up from Golden Gate Park at Lincoln Avenue) and in the east bay cities of Lafayette and Danville.

Cookie and Irving dined on the Chicken Fusilli (Cookie) and the Spinach Salad (Irving), topped with feta cheese, walnuts and dried cranberries. Irv also had a side of steak, which he cut up and tossed into the salad.

It was so choice.

PAYROD EARNS HIS KEEP

Alex "A-ROD" Rodriguez hit 2 homers (one of which was a grand slam) and drove in 7 runs during today's male raping of the Tampa Bay Rays by my beloved Bronx Bombers (10-2 final).

It's looking good for the Yankees in their pursuit of the pennant this year.

WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR SISTER?

So he drugged a 13 year old, sodomized her and the night before he was to be sentenced, he skipped out of the country and has been a fugitive for the last 30-plus years.

I saw HBO the documentary last year and agree that the fame-seeking judge assigned to the case was going to railroad him but still, Roman Polanski is not above the law.

No one is.

It's time he come back and deal with this once and for all. He settled financially with his victim back in the mid-90's but has yet to make payment. Mr. Polanski needs to make good on that as well, considering his victim has spoken out on his behalf many times.

Yes, there are more important criminals that the Department of Justice could be pursuing (um, how about OSAMA BIN LADEN, hello), but this needs to be put to rest once and for all.

HEY, WEREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO GO AWAY?

Her book "GOING ROGUE" doesn't officially release until November 17th, but Sarah Palin's autobiography is already on both Amazon.com's and Barnes and Noble's number 1 lists.

Personally, I'm looking forward to reading it . . .

Well, once it's been translated into english.

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

I just read an amusing little blurb about the latest Facebook scam that so many people seem to be falling for. The FBI is currently investigating.

If you're stupid enough to fall for this, then you deserve to be ripped off!

SO F#$%ING WHAT

David Letterman (seen here with singer, actress and trainwreck Courtney Love) felt the need to apologize on his show last night for having sexual relations with some former co-workers. Turns out he was the target of an extortion plot and had just testified in front of the Grand Jury earlier that day.

I'm sorry but, seriously??

AND, this is the top news story?

Slow news day.

GOVERNOR MOONBEAM, PART DEUX

California State Attorney General Jerry Brown yesterday filed paperwork to form an exploratory committee for the 2010 California Gubernatorial race.

He held the job from 1975 until 1983 and is exempt from the term limit laws as his term was completed before voters in 1992 approved that ballot measure.

Jerry was the governor during the final salad days of California, when home values were more reasonable, the highway system was top notch, schools were at the top of the lists, etc. Sure, everything looks better when you look back and there were issues with Mr. Brown i'm sure, but anything would be better than what we've got right now AND I couldn't imagine anything more worse for California that the sound of this:

GOVERNOR GAVIN NEWSOM

God, I get the shakes just thinking about that.

RUN JERRY, RUN! You have the full support of The Steaming Poop Blog.

HIGHER EDUCATION JUST GOT LOWERED

Reality TV douchebags Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were on "THE VIEW" again this morning(heidi was a special guest host). One of the "Hot Topics" discussed was the new "no sex in dorms when your roommate is present" rule instituted at Tufts University.

Heidi went on to discuss how this wasn't an issue at her college and when asked what college that was, her reply was:

"Academy of Art University"

The answer speaks for itself.